


This is the Rebellion

by FreakCityPrincess



Series: Crackfic Collection [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Accidentally being added to a group, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blame my friends irl, Crack Treated Seriously, Do Not Microwave Sausages, Every Woman in Star Wars is Awesome, Everyone is a nerd, F/M, Gen, Half actual writing, Half chatroom fic, Leia isn't afraid of saying scandalous things on chat, Leia’s Army of Scream Queens, Mutual Pining, Proposals, She really isn't, Star Trek references just because, Tension, Texting, Unapologetic Crack, accidentally-on-purpose sexting, adorablenerd!Cassian, and for the things Jyn says, and witnessing things you shouldn't, group chats, i don't know what came over me, lingerie shopping, rated for language, tattooartist! Sabine, there IS a plot, which involves misunderstanding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 14:06:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14450856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakCityPrincess/pseuds/FreakCityPrincess
Summary: Everyone knows what Leia was thinking when she made a new group, withonly the girls.And it was probably just a coincidence that Han opened a new chat exclusively for the guys at about the same time.In which Leia and Jyn have a turbulent relationship, Luke uses polite language, Kes is bad at keeping secrets, Shara is a total queen, Ezra misunderstands everything and nobody answers Han's questions.





	1. We can do without him

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. I didn't mean to write enough crack to make a series out of crackfics, but my friends were saying things that made this one impossible to resist. They inspired it, actually, so this is dedicated to them. 
> 
> Anyhow, I hope you enjoy, because this was really fun to write!
> 
> (' ...' is used to indicate that a bit of time has passed. The more ' ...' s, the more time)

_8:00 pm **Leia** created group **Exclusive Territory**_

**Leia:** Hey everyone 

**Leia:** Made this so we can vent a little. Also I want ONE group without that annoying douche. 

**Leia:** Who's in? 

...

**Sabine:** I get the feeling we don't really have a choice 

**Leia:** As if you aren't sick of him. 

**Sabine:** who, Han? He's fun. Everyone likes him. Even jyn likes him and she's a social reject

**Jyn:** Excuse me? 

**Sabine:** I KNEW IT! I KNEW SHE WAS GHOSTING! 

**Jyn:** f you I have a life

**Leia:** Hey wait a minute. 

**Leia:** Come back. 

...

**Leia:** I thought she was bluffing when she said she had a life. 

**Sabine:** jyn? no life whatsoever.

**Sabine:** it says she's online.

**Leia:** Ugh, why is she like this? 

**Leia:** Omg she's probably texting Cassian.

**Leia:** Ha! 

**Sabine:** you have 0 proof good luck with that 

**Leia:** I hate you. 

**Sabine:** got a customer bye love 

**Leia:** Bye. 

**Leia:** Boring conversation anyway. 

###### 

**Private Chat: Jyn, Cassian**

**Jyn:** Sabine just said I have no life I hate how right she is 

**Cassian:** Lol 

**Cassian:** That's probably because of the course you're taking. 

**Jyn:** you didn't even deny it I feel so betrayed 

**Cassian:** Sorry. It's just that we don't even get to hang out. 

...

**Jyn:** Awwh is someone feeling neglected? 

**Jyn:** do you want me to come over and give you a hug? Cuddle for a whole night maybe? 

**Cassian:** Ffs jyn 

**Jyn:** Lol love you too

**Jyn:** K gotta go. Bye! Hugs and kisses lool 

**Cassian:** Bye :)

###### 

**Private Chat: Luke, Bodhi**

**Bodhi:** Luke, can I ask a favour?

.... 

**Luke:** Sure, what's up? 

**Bodhi:** Leia created this group, I thinks it's only for the girls? I think I got added by accident can you ask her to remove me please 

**Luke:** Why don't you just ask her??

 **Bodhi:** sorry 

**Bodhi:** she's just...kind of scary

 **Luke:** Come one she's not that scary 

**Bodhi:** have you seen her yell at Han it's terrifying 

**Luke:** haha okay I'll mention it. We're meeting up for dinner. Wanna come? 

**Bodhi:** if I'm there how will you mention it 

**Luke:** Oh for God's sake 

**Luke:** K. Won't forget. Bye! 

**Bodhi:** THANK YOU and byee 

**Bodhi:** Oh I forgot

**Bodhi:** Han's hosting movie night 

**Luke:** Shikes leia was actually looking forward to movie night this time 

**Bodhi:** think she'll skip? 

**Luke:** Nah. I'll just slide it to her though. I'll say there'll be good food. 

**Bodhi:** okay cool. Good luck! 

**Luke:** C'mon she doesn't hate him or anything 

**Bodhi:** yeah I can believe that. Yeah. 

**Luke:** Han is a REALLY great guy once you get past the smug exterior. She'll realize. Eventually. 

**Bodhi:** I'm going to feel a lot of stress leave me when that day comes 

**Luke:** GTG, she's calling. Bye! 

**Bodhi:** BEST OF LUCK 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are love, and suggestions are welcome!


	2. The Great Spanish Swearing Showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kes walks in on Cassian having a mini existential crisis, a breakup happens over text, and Hera keeps the expletives at a minimum.

Kessel Rim was one of those bars that weren't crowded on weekdays because it was far from the workplace sector, and closer to the middle of nowhere that was too exhausting to travel to after a hard day at the office. Of course, this made it a fairly private venue for regulars, or anyone in search of a bar they could carry out an audible conversation in, and the owners of Kessel had turned this feature to their advantage and installed private booths in one corner, removing the partitions of weekends. The alcohol prices shot up to compensate for the customers not visiting.

The bar had only two other people in it, a fact that didn't warrant renting out a private booth to drain your sorrows in. Well. Not that Cassian used alcohol as a coping mechanism anymore, but. He needed the time alone. Away from his best friend and roommate Kay, who'd only sardonically comment on his weird mood and make things worse.

The thing was...well, the thing was...

Cassian Andor was used to life giving him shit. He was so used to it that whenever a crisis presented itself, he stared it cold in the face, not backing down and not rising to the bait, either. So he did not have to cry his eyes out in a private corner or on the shoulder of his (too tall) best friend. He could sit still through a storm. This feature had earned him the his college nickname of Resting Spy Face Guy.

( _Andor with the Ass_ was another college nickname, used in a much more flattering sense, but he didn't know that.)

But as of right now he was sitting in this sad excuse of a bar like a loser clutching a glass in one hand and his phone in the other, and _if only his grandmother could see him now._

He kept repeating sentiments in his head- _Get out of it, you moron._ \- _It was a joke, stupid._ \- and sometimes even audibly -"Get out of it, you moron."

Cassian didn't think his mood could get any worse until the door of the bar swished open, and a very buoyant Kes Dameron walked in with his girlfriend of two years, Shara Bey.

(He had a sneaking suspicion they were married legally. Who stayed together that long and weren't? They were probably delaying having an actual wedding until they had the money for it)

Cassian buried his face inside folded arms, on the table, hoping they wouldn't notice him under the thick folds of his jacket. To his relief, it worked. But as soon as he started feeling some semblance of hope, the couple slid into the seats next to him and started a complicated order of drinks and sandwiches.

"Oh, could you change that to the roast option?" Kes called over the counter. "Just for me. Thanks."

He went to sit down, and his elbow accidentally caught in Cassian's jacket. He withdrew quickly

"Hey, I'm so sorry, didn't mean to- _Cass?_ "

Oh, right. He was wearing his old football jacket, with the number 11 on the back of it, which _spelt_ the word CASSIAN in big block letters.

"Holy shit, bro, what're you doing here?" Kes's face was in his, eyes wide and disturbingly concerned, as he reluctantly lifted his head. His cousin looked different degrees of worried.

Behind him, Shara's mouth had formed into a susprised O.

"Tough week," grunted Cassian by way of explanation, then went to bury his face again.

"Hey, hold on a moment," Kes gripped his arms and pulled him out of it. "You _never_ do this."

Cassian laughed dryly. "Very tough week," he amended his lie.

To his annoyance, Kes looked more than prepared to listen, and Shara dragged her stool over beside him to look on in sympathy as well.

"Can we get you a drink?" she asked.

" _Dios-_ no, Shara, that's alright." How had his life come to this? "I'm just tired. Can't deal with Kay right now." He smiled in a way he hoped was convincing.

Kes was not fooled. "Alright, what the hell is up with you?"

Cassian glared. "I told you."

"No you didn't," Kes turned to his wife/girlfriend. "Babe, can you give us a moment? You really don't wanna witness this."

Shara snorted, knocking back a shot. "I can handle a lot of shit, Dameron. But if it's a question of privacy, yeah, sure. I'm going over there."

Kes smiled. "Thanks, babe."

Shara almost tripped on a wayside stool on the way to her chosen spot, but she dulled the effect of the mistake by pointing the finger out for Kes when he started laughing. How many drinks had she had? Already?

Kes stopped looking cheery and slammed a fist on the table. "Right. Spill. What do I have to save your ass from this time?"

Cassian chuckled in a self-deprecating way, but he suddenly felt far more self conscious than when he'd been caught in the first place.

Kes was his cousin, had grown up with him, and knew far more things about him than he was probably aware of himself. He couldn't hide anything.

"You're going to say I'm pathetic."

Kes rubbed his shoulder sympathetically. "I'm not gonna judge, brother."

Not even looking the other man in the eyes, Cassian opened his phone, found the right place and slid it over.

Kes contemplated what was in front of him for a long time.

"And?"

Cassian would've rolled his eyes if this wasn't already as embarrassing as it was. "What do you mean, and?"

"Wait, you're snivelling over- _joder,_ you really are pathetic."

" _Tonto del culo,_ " muttered Cassian, but half-buried his head again, hoping to cover the reddening tips of his ears.

"You know this is a joke, right? Or just...just something people say sometimes? Like, I've told you a million times. Bodhi says it. Leia's said it to you. What difference does it make?"

"Did you really just ask that?"

Kes huffed. "Well I _know_ you have it bad for her, but this is fuckingridiculous, _hijo de puta._ "

Across the room, Shara rapped on her table irately. "Why can I hear none of this conversation except your _extremely loud_ cursing? Civility, guys!"

"Is civility a word?" mumbled Cassian, objectively not meeting his cousin's incredulous look.

" _Puta madre,_ " said Kes firmly, stealing his elbow from under his head so he had no choice but to meet his eyes. "You're being really, really ridiculous. Just-" And here a creative rush of expletives. "Ask her out already."

Cassian knew some creative curses, too.

" _Que te folle un pez._ "

From far away, Shara burst out laughing before Kes could respond.

"I can't deal with both of you at once," he said miserably. "I can't. Fine. Drink up, _hermano_ , feel sorry for yourself, but this conversation isn't over, you hear?"

"Leave him alone," called Shara.

"Listen to her," said Cassian.

"You're such a- a _Cabrón,"_ finished Kes lamely, having run out of steam. He slumped back down his seat. "Oh, my sandwich is here. Look what you did to my apetite, idiot. And it's cold now. _Joder._ "

Cassian snagged his drink. "I meant that last one."

Kes objectively ignored him while Shara's laughter rang in his ears.

**Chatroom: Exclusive Territory**

**Leia:** Where are my favourite bitches

 **Hera** : Leia...

 **Leia:** Well, you wouldn't have turned up if you didn't have something to scold me about.

 **Hera:** Ugh, kids.

 **Hera:** Well, is there a reason I was summoned? I'm in the middle of some work.

 **Jyn:** Hey bitchh

 **Leia:** HEYY!

 **Hera:** Ugh kids

 **Leia:** Hiya mom

 **Leia:** And I'm here to rant...so you can skip this one actually. Probably should.

 **Jyn:** what did that hijo de puta do this time

 **Leia:** You remember that auction my parents held last month?

 **Leia:** Wait, what did you just call him?

 **Jyn:** It means son of a bitch. Only milder. Cause I like Han.

 **Leia:** Why does EVERYONE like Han? He's such an asshole, it doesn't make sense.

 **Hera:** Jyn. Leia. Language.

 **Jyn:** holy shit you're still here??

 **Hera:** Notifications, sweetie.

 **Leia:** Um, okay. Sorry.

**Private Chat: Leia, Jyn**

**Jyn:** I don't get why you made a group especially for roasting Han and added Hera to it

 **Leia:** Hera's part of the gang!

 **Jyn:** Hey I fucking love Hera, but she won't let me say the work fuck in a group chat about Han?

 **Leia:** Okay you got a point there.

 **Leia:** And where was I? Oh yes, so somehow at the auction

 **Leia:** My mom is so CHARMED by him

 **Leia:** He was acting SO BLOODY CIVILIZED in front of them

 **Leia:** And they're going to invite him. On our trip. OUR trip!

 **Jyn:** Wait a family trip??

 **Leia:** Well it's more like a tour to distribute those charity packs. The ones that came from the auction. But STILL. those invites are EXCLUSIVE, not for annoying pieces of shit like Han Solo!

 **Jyn:** hmm

 **Jyn:** doesn't sound like a bad idea to me

 **Jyn:** might be a good chance to shed off all that UST

 **Leia:** WTF JYN

 **Leia:** Are you suggesting that I fucking like Han fucking Solo? The fuck kind of friend are you?!

 **Jyn:** yup. All that UST.

 **Leia:** Don't talk to me until you've said sorry to me and my dead relatives.

 **Jyn:** come onn

...

 **Jyn:** Leia where'd you go

 **Jyn:** bitchh

...

 **Jyn:** Bitch come back

 **Jyn:** Wifey?

 **Jyn:** Fine. I don't need you anyway.

**Private Chat: Jyn, Bodhi**

**Jyn:** I think Leia's mad at me

 **Bodhi:** did you in any way suggest she likes Han

 **Jyn:** I'm ALLOWED TO! She teases me for Cassian all the fucking time

 **Bodhi:** that's because you won't break her fingers for it

 **Bodhi:** also it's very hard not to

 **Jyn:** I hate you.

 **Jyn:** can you do me a favour?

 **Bodhi:** right after you declared your undying hate for me? Very strategic

 **Jyn:** pleasee

 **Bodhi:** fine what do u want

 **Jyn:** can you buy me a box of condoms

 **Jyn:** as in, the cardboard thing where they keep all the small boxes 

**Bodhi:** WTF JYN NO WAY IN HELL

 **Jyn:** my annoying nieces are coming over, they want a water balloon fight like last time. That's all. Gee.

 **Bodhi:** WHt

 **Bodhi:** THAT IS COMPLETELY UNETHICAL HOW COULD YOU

 **Jyn:** you know how annoying they are. They asked for a water balloons and I didn't have balloons in the house I had no choice

 **Bodhi:** well GET BALLOONS THIS TIME

 **Jyn:** balloons break easily and the brats will get hurt

 **Bodhi:** jyn. I literally cannot do this. Who goes up to the counter and buys THE ENTIRE SET

 **Bodhi:** wait do I want to know why you had a whole box in your house last time

 **Jyn:** Didn't. Bought from the neighbours.

 **Bodhi:** HOW DID YOU EVEN

 **Bodhi:** you know what? I really don't want to know more

 **Jyn:** there's a wholesale dude living in the next apartment. Whole sells everything. You need something, anything, you go to him.

 **Bodhi:** are you bullshitting me or are you serious?

 **Bodhi:** why can't you go to him again?

 **Jyn:** can't, he's kind of creepy now.

 **Bodhi:** this was just LAST YEAR

 **Jyn:** well, people change. Leia was my best friend an hour ago.

 **Bodhi:** if I'm gonna do this I'm going to need something huge in return

 **Jyn:** Shoot.

 **Bodhi:** hmm

 **Bodhi:** i'll ask on movie night

 **Jyn:** oh who's hosting movie night?

 **Bodhi:** your ex wouldn't like it

 **Jyn:** my ex??

 **Bodhi:** well you broke up with leia didn't you

 **Jyn:** My ex best friend you mean

 **Bodhi:** idk you call each other wife

 **Jyn:** That's just something girls do, Bodhi

 **Jyn:** fuck HAN'S hosting it??

 **Jyn:** wait you didn't seriously think the wife thing was real did you?

 **Bodhi:** han is the best movie night host a little respect please

 **Bodhi:** lando thought it was serious lool and he went around telling everyone but shara whacked his ass about it and he was silenced

 **Jyn:** dear God guys are so stupid

 **Jyn:** lando is stupid

 **Jyn:** I'm going to whack his ass too

 **Jyn:** wait is this why Han started avoiding me at Christmas last year??

 **Jyn:** He was jealous omg I'm so gonna tell leia

 **Bodhi:** aren't you more concerned cassian thinks you're gay tho?

 **Jyn:** FUCK WHAT

 **Jyn:** WHAT THE FUCK AND YOU DIDN'T CORRECT HIM?

 **Jyn:** SOME FUCKING FRIEND YOU ARE

 **Bodhi:** omg LOOOL

 **Bodhi:** you fell for it!

 **Bodhi:** haha this is gooooold

 **Bodhi:** you soo like him

...

 **Bodhi:** jyn?

 **Bodhi:** hey where'd you go

 **Bodhi:** it was just a joke I'm sorry

...

 **Bodhi:** sis please

 **Bodhi:** i'll bring you extra cheetos on movie night

...

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not including this earlier! Here are translations of what Cassian and Kes were swearing at each other: (WARNING: Censored but some of these are downright mean)
> 
>  _"Tonto del culo"-_ literally translates to "Idiot of the Ass". A popular Spanish phrase.
> 
>  _"Hijo de puta"-_ s.o.b in Spanish
> 
>  
> 
> _"Puta Madre"- mf_
> 
> And finally, my absolute favourite:
> 
>  _"Que te folle un pes"_ which actually means- and I kid you not, this is a legit phrase- "I hope you get f***ed by a fish."


	3. Who’s To Say What A Man Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Han enters the picture, one or two heated arguments happen, and someone sends a purposeful sext.

_5.00 a.m **Han** created group **Dicks lol**_

**Han:** Now you all probably wanna know why you're here 

**Ezra:** it's 5 in the morning 

**Han:** Yeah but you turned up so that kinda defeats the point

**Ezra:** goodnight 

**Han:** Hey! 

**Han:** Some friend you are 

**Cassian:** What is it, Han? 

**Han:** I made a group without leia and all your girlfriends 

**Han:** Because some things we can't say with them around.

**Cassian:** Am I going to like these things? 

**Han:** We aren't savages but we still gotta complain. 

**Cassian:** Complain to Lando on private, and leave us out of it.

**Han:** You're an amazing bloody friend has anyone ever told you that? 

**Han:** Anyway, I'm sure they have a chat without us. 

**Han:** So who's coming for movie night? 

... 

...

**Han:** Chuckie it is then. 

_**Cassian** changed group name to **Guys**_

###### 

Sabine looked up as another customer walked in, cursing that th whole neighbourhood rushed for tea on Saturday mornings. She wasn't used to the café's routine. But her unregistered home-based tattoo parlour was in danger of being discovered with that old couple who'd moved in downstairs, so she had to run a real job until she found a venue for a newer, more expensive and legal tattoo parlour.

The scowl that had almost permanently fixated on her face ever since she took up the new job lifted as soon as she registered the familiar face. Dark, stunning eyelashes and curly hair that attracted a lot of jealousy, plus really cool clothes. She caught her attention and waved. 

"Hey," greeted Shara, leaning for an awkwardly-angled hug over the counter. Probably a bad idea with all the crowd, but Sabine didn't care about her job enough for that. "Just thought I'd drop in. When's your shift over?"

Sabine pulled a face. "In the afternoon. I only get to leave this miserable place for lunch."

Shara looked sympathetic. "That sucks. Wanna go out for lunch?"

Sabine grinned at once. "Hell yeah. What about Kes, though? Don't you normally save Saturdays for him?"

Shara snorted. "He's planning a surprise for me."

Sabine raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Yeah. He was talking to someone on the phone and it was really loud. We're going to Disneyland."

"Okay, much as it sucks that you found out, that's really sweet."

"I know, I love him. So lunch at two?"

Sabine rolled her eyes. "I'll be dead by two."

"One?"

"That sounds amazing. You gonna buy something, or...?"

Shara considered the quickly disappearing items in the shelves. "Donuts to cheer Leia up?"

"Why does she need cheering up?"

"She says she had a fallout with Jyn, who apparently destroyed their friendship by suggesting she liked Han."

Sabine whistled, and tried not to roll her eyes. "Right. One Boston Creme for 0.99."

###### 

**Group Chat: Guys**

**Kes:** Yourll I have a question 

**Kay:** *y'all. Abbreviated form of you+all. 

**Kay:** Why have I been added to this group?

**Kes:** that's a really good question 

**Luke:** Now don't be mean 

**Kes:** he's literally the one who asked why 

**Kay:** I will inform Cassian that you have a problem to consult about. Goodbye. 

**Kes:** thank you? 

**Ezra:** guy's a robot I swear 

**Luke:** We really need to meet up 

**Ezra:** I miss you too :(

**Kes:** ew guys y'all cheesy as hell 

**Luke:** He lives in a different state, Kes, you should miss him as well! 

**Luke:** What happened to friendship? 

**Kes:** Okay gee I miss you but must you be so cheesy 

**Ezra:** Were I a lesser man I would've said 'fuck you'

**Kes:** Haha now I miss you for real 

**Cassian:** Kay said there was a problem? 

**Kes:** Did you follow my advice yet? 

**Cassian:** puta madre, not now 

**Ezra:** What advice? Kes gives advice now? 

**Kes:** I'm pretty much the only hope these losers have for relationship advice

**Ezra:** Cassian's in a relationship?? IM MISSING OUT ON SO MUCH 

**Luke:** wait you're in a relationship?!

 **Cassian:** No 

**Cassian:** Isn't there something we should be talking about? 

**Luke:** oops totally forgot 

**Luke:** What were you saying, Kes? 

**Kes:** Oh yeah, sorry 

**Kes:** So I have this surprise planned for Shara 

**Ezra:** Who's cheesy now lol 

**Kes:** haha very funny 

**Cassian:** Are you sure it's still a surprise? Last time you tried to 'surprise' her she was waiting at the door like she expected it 

**Kes:** Look there's NO WAY she could've found out this time

**Luke:** So what's the surprise? 

**Kes:** I planned a trip to disneyland 

**Luke:** That's so cute! 

**Kes:** Holy hell kid 

**Ezra:** omg you're such a sap 

**Cassian:** So what's the issue here? 

**Kes:** nngh 

**Kes:** I hate you guys 

**Luke:** :3 

**Kes:** there's no ISSUE it's just a question damn you cass

**Cassian:** I haven't forgotten about yesterday

**Cassian:** And there's always an issue with you 

**Kes:** Someone had to talk you out of your ridiculous love life crisis 

**Kes:** Anyway, my question 

**Ezra:** since when did cassian have a love life?? I'm missing SO MUCH 

**Luke:** Wait Cassian you never told us! 

**Cassian:** You're not wrong, I don't have a love life. Now what the hell do you want, Kes? 

**Kes:** Hijo de puta

**Ezra:** English please 

**Kes:** Son of a bitcg

**Luke:** omg guys CALM DOWN 

**Cassian:** Okay but seriously, what's the question? 

**Kes:** Fine 

**Kes:** Do you know any good place for like rings and stuff 

**Ezra:** nose rings? 

**Kes:** Why on EARTH would you think that 

**Ezra:** sabine threatened to give me a nose piercing in my sleep 

**Ezra:** it was terrifying. Kanan didn't even object. 

**Luke:** Wait 

**Luke:** Disneyland+ring = ? 

**Cassian:** KES?

**Kes:** Guys just tell me where I can buy a ring from 

**Cassian:** YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME 

**Cassian:** YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME THIS KIND OF THING WTF

**Kes:** Well I would've but it was awkward 

**Kes:** Actually this is even more awkward 

**Kes:** I was hoping you wouldn't figure it out 

**Ezra:** well I didn't . you have to be more specific when you say ring 

**Luke:** Ezra you're the only one who has that problem

**Luke:** And congratulations, this is amazing! 

**Kes:** I haven't even asked yet 

**Luke:** Idk about rings and stuff but I could ask Leia 

**Han:** Ask Leia what? 

**Ezra:** we summoned a demon everybody 

**Han:** I get a notification when the word Leia is used on this group 

**Cassian:** What...kind of feature is that

**Han:** Comes with the premium package 

**Luke:** That's really weird and frankly, stalker-ish 

**Han:** That's the only reason I made the group kid 

**Cassian:** You paid five dollars for that feature? 

**Han:** 5 dollars for the PACKAGE andor I spend my money wisely

**Kes:** Firstly that's a creepy ass feature 

**Kes:** Secondly, about the ring? Does anyone care anymore? 

**Ezra:** try sephora 

**Kes:** Those attendants at sephora are like shara's scream queens they're going to tell her everything 

**Han:** Scream queens? 

**Luke:** So get it from their website 

**Han:** What's a scream queen

**Kes:** You don't buy a wedding ring off a website, luke 

**Han:** Why are you buying a wedding ring 

**Han:** Ohh 

**Luke:** I'll ask Leia for a good place

**Cassian:** Can't you just go to another sephora?

**Kes:** There are other sephoras? 

**Cassian:** This is what happens when you grow up an only child

**Kes:** F you I thought you were my brother 

**Han:** I hate to admit it but Leia is pretty much your only option 

**Han:** And what's a scream queen? 

**Kes:** nngh can Leia keep a secret? 

**Cassian:** It's Shara she probably knows already

**Kes:** Keep this up and I'm going to tell everyone YOUR secret 

**Han:** TELL

**Cassian:** Tell them that and I will confirm to Shara what she already knows 

**Kes:** That is so unfair 

**Han:** Why is nobody telling me anything!

**Luke:** So can I ask Leia? 

**Kes:** Yeah but say Cassian is asking 

**Cassian:** Don't you dare 

**Kes:** Chill, she broke up with Jyn 

**Luke:** Huh? 

**Han:** What does Jyn have to do with any of this? 

**Kes:** Whoops 

**Kes:** Shit gotta go 

**Ezra:** what did I miss? 

**Luke:** I have no idea 

**Han:** Nobody tells me anything! 

**Han:** And also don't remind me because Jyn and Leia were never a thing fucking Lando made that up 

**Han:** I can't believe we fell for it 

**Ezra:** you fell for it? 

**Luke:** Han...you were the only one who fell for it 

**Han:** What?! 

**Han:** Fuck that's it I'm kicking him out 

**Han:** Bye, traitor 

_**Han** removed **Lando**_

**Han:** Anybody else wants to go? 

###### 

**Private Chat: Han, Leia**

**Han:** Hey Leia can I ask you something? 

**Han:** What's a scream queen? 

**Han:** And is there something going on between jyn and cassian? 

... 

... 

**Leia:** I have no idea what you're talking about 

**Leia:** Where did you pick up that term? 

**Han:** Kes said somethin 

**Han:** Attendants at sephora are shara's scream queens apparently

**Leia:** Wait, really? 

**Leia:** That's so cool 

**Han:** What does that mean, minions or something? 

**Leia:** Something like that.

> **New Window: Private Chat: Leia, Jyn**
> 
> **Leia:** JYN 
> 
> **Leia:** Get your ass here NOW 

**Han:** K thanks 

**Han:** Don't know if anyone told you, but movie night's at my place this Wednesdsy 

**Han:** *Wednesday 

> **Jyn:** Oh, so we're friends now? 
> 
> **Leia:** Omg shut up Jyn this is important 
> 
> **Jyn:** Well if you want me to shut up 
> 
> **Leia:** Look, Han's massaging me 
> 
> **Jyn:** Um ew I don't wanna know 
> 
> **Leia:** Fuck *MESSAGING 
> 
> **Leia:** Now that you mention it, that's a pretty image... 
> 
> **Jyn:** I only exchange voyeuristic sentiments with people I'm friends with 
> 
> **Leia:** I hate you when I'm trying to tell you something important

**Leia:** Cool 

**Leia:** What's the movie? 

**Han:** Well we were planning on watching a creepy doll movie 

**Leia:** One of those cheap horror flicks? 

**Han:** A horror _classic_

**Leia:** How did you do that? 

**Han:** Asked the guys, they didn't have a problem with it 

**Leia:** I seriously doubt everyone consented to watching that 

**Leia:** And I was talking about the italics 

**Han:** Why do you doubt that? It's a good pick for movie night, everyone's either going to have fun laughing or get scared and wet themselves 

**Han:** Everyone will be _involved_

**Han:** That's what makes me such a good host 

**Leia:** I'm pretty sure you picked the movie on your own. Luke and Cassian are way too cultured to watch that third rate crap. 

**Han:** Italics come with the premium package 

**Leia:** And Bodhi wouldn't have said yes unless you bullied him into it 

**Han:** Well excuse me, princess

**Han:** Classic horrors aren't _uncultured_

**Han:** And what makes you think I don't consider what other people say?

 **Leia:** Are you seriously asking me that question? 

> **Jyn:** Fine, what's happening? 
> 
> **Leia:** Took you some time 
> 
> **Leia:** Han just asked me if there's something happening between you and Cassian
> 
> **Jyn:** What? 
> 
> **Jyn:** Why would he think that? 
> 
> **Leia:** Exactly, it's very one sided if anything 
> 
> **Leia:** And there's no way he could know about the stuff you tell me 
> 
> **Jyn:** Wow fuck you Leia
> 
> **Leia:** By one sided I mean he doesn't give anything away alright? Guy's like some kind of secret agent, no personal effects 
> 
> **Jyn:** Cassian's playlist has more personality than Han's fucking jackets 
> 
> **Leia:** Ha yeah defend your man 
> 
> **Jyn:** It's the bloody truth 
> 
> **Leia:** But how the hell does Han know??
> 
> **Jyn:** Please don't tell me he has access to your phone 
> 
> **Leia:** Why tf would I give anyone access to my phone 
> 
> **Jyn:** Some couples do that and it's frankly really stupid 
> 
> **Leia:** I'm going to ignore the grave error in that thing you just said 
> 
> **Jyn:** Look, the only way anyone could find out is through one of us, and nobody betrays the fraternity 
> 
> **Leia:** It's Han 
> 
> **Leia:** What if he seduced someone to tell him our secrets? 
> 
> **Jyn:** ugh I don't want to imagine Han Solo seducing someone 
> 
> **Leia:** You're right, Cassian Andor would do a better job 
> 
> **Jyn:** Fuck 
> 
> **Jyn:** Omg 
> 
> **Jyn:** Thank you for delicious images 
> 
> **Leia:** Haha no problem sweetheart 
> 
> **Leia:** Are we even now? 
> 
> **Jyn:** Yeess
> 
> **Jyn:** Send screenshots
> 
> **Leia:** Aahh I love you♡ 

**Han:** Since when have I been inconsiderate? 

**Leia:** Remember when you had to cover Lando's shift but you were too busy with your own entertainment? 

**Leia:** And when you were supposed to contract Sabine for that mural but you just gave it to that cheap guy? 

**Leia:** Oh, not to mention those shitty new fixtures you installed in the common room without asking anyone.

**Han:** Seriously, that's what you're going to bring up? 

**Han:** What are you, my moral compass? Some kind of angel keeping track of shit that I do? 

**Han:** I never do anything that isn't completely justified 

**Leia:** Haha 

**Han:** I got you that interview, didn't I? 

**Leia:** You mean you told that sleazy guy that he'd get to hit on a pretty brunette who looks like his ex?

**Han:** Your agency wanted the interview and I got you the fucking interview what the hell does it matter how? 

**Leia:** Don't know if you've figured this out, laser brain, but some things are socially accepted as 'unethical'

**Han:** Well it's not like he got to do any damage anyway!

**Leia:** He tried to GROPE me, idiot! 

**Han:** _Tried to_

**Leia:** Oh I see 

**Leia:** You're one of those men 

**Han:** Hey hold on now 

**Han:** You think I'd support the guy if he actually did anything? 

**Leia:** Whether you try to grope a woman or successfully grope a woman you're a shitty masochist 

**Han:** Can't go to courts with that 

**Leia:** Please shut up 

> **Leia:** Han is being an asshole 
> 
> **Jyn:** anything new? 
> 
> **Leia:** I actually can't do this anymore 
> 
> **Leia:** [IMAGE]
> 
> **Leia:** [IMAGE]
> 
> **Leia:** Tell me honestly, who's being unreasonable here? 
> 
> **Jyn:** You know he kinda has to defend the guy right? 
> 
> **Jyn:** Job and all 
> 
> **Leia:** Yeah, like the guy's monitoring our conversation? 
> 
> **Jyn:** Well yeah, he can afford to be honest with you... 
> 
> **Jyn:** Oh come on you know he's not one of THOSE men 
> 
> **Jyn:** He's just a little silly 
> 
> **Jyn:** They don't always get it 
> 
> **Leia:** Look I'm not going to start another feminism argument with him
> 
> **Leia:** If he comes up and says feminism is overrated ONE MORE TIME I swear I am going to kick him where it hurts 
> 
> **Jyn:** Change the topic 
> 
> **Leia:** That's admitting defeat and you know it 
> 
> **Jyn:** No listen up 
> 
> **Jyn:** Be subtle about it, like bring up movie night again 
> 
> **Jyn:** And suggest watching a second movie
> 
> **Leia:** I am angry enough to kick him right now and you want me to talk about movie night? 
> 
> **Jyn:** Calm down and think of how you'd totally destroy him in bed 
> 
> **Leia:** JYN WHAT THE FUCK 
> 
> **Leia:** Do NOT go there 
> 
> **Jyn:** I'm not implying you like him geez 
> 
> **Jyn:** Just imagine it you'll feel better 
> 
> **Leia:** I HIGHLY doubt that
> 
> **Jyn:** As if you wouldn't take the opportunity to sleep with him 
> 
> **Leia:** STOP
> 
> **Jyn:** Oh please, you've never considered it? 
> 
> **Jyn:** He's not bad looking. Probably great at it but you're probably even better. 
> 
> **Leia:** I hate that I'm enjoying the images you put in my head wtf Jyn
> 
> **Leia:** Shiit
> 
> **Jyn:** Hey you know what'd be funny? 
> 
> **Leia:** Why the hell do I feel I'll be on board with this idea... 
> 
> **Jyn:** I should accidentally send him a sext 
> 
> **Jyn:** Meant for YOU 
> 
> **Leia:** OMG 
> 
> **Leia:** But he wouldn't believe it 
> 
> **Jyn:** Well not a sext just something that'll rile him up 
> 
> **Jyn:** You know he was actually jealous when Lando told him we were a thing? 
> 
> **Jyn:** He believed it and he was JEALOUS 
> 
> **Leia:** WHO TOLD YOU THIS 
> 
> **Jyn:** Bodhi 
> 
> **Leia:** SERIOUSLY? 
> 
> **Leia:** Omg okay do it 
> 
> **Leia:** I'll keep him occupied think of soemthing 

**Han:** Fine, if it's all the same to you anyway 

**Han:** I didn't say the guy had a right to do it, did I? 

**Leia:** Why are you taking his side anyway? 

**Han:** Hmm maybe to do with the fact that I WORK FOR HIM 

**Leia:** Bullshit, like he can read your chats or something 

**Han:** Look, no one paid the price for being extra careful, okay? 

**Leia:** You don't make sense at all 

> **Private Chat: Han, Jyn**
> 
> **Jyn:** Do you want to meet up for drinks and go lingere shopping 
> 
> **Han:** Um...what 
> 
> **Jyn:** Ohh shit 
> 
> **Jyn:** Sorry that was meant for Leia 
> 
> **Jyn:** Oh God this is super embarrassing
> 
> **Han:** Uh huh yeah it is 
> 
> **Jyn:** Look just pretend I never sent that OK? 
> 
> **Han:** Sure 
> 
> **Jyn:** Thanks 
> 
> **Jyn:** Please delete it on your end then we can forget this happened 
> 
> **Han:** Of course 
> 
> **Jyn:** Thank you 

  


> **Group Chat: Guys**
> 
> **Han:** Something really weird just happened
> 
> **Ezra:** What is it
> 
> **Han:** Actually no 
> 
> **Han:** Nevermind 
> 
> **Ezra:** um okay 

**Private Chat: Han, Leia**

**Han:** I was considering having two movies this time, actually. 

**Han:** Do you have any preferences? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are love!


	4. A Vote of Confidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia's girls are all online for a conversation about lingere, mental imaging and explicit content of questionable morality. Hera tries to keep lines from being crossed while Sabine makes her discomfort obvious.

**Group Chat: Exclusive Territory**

**Leia:** Hey everyone

 **Shara:** Heyy

 **Sabine:** sup guys

 **Hera:** Hi

 **Leia:** Wow almost everyone's here!

 **Shara:** Btw are you and Jyn okay now?

 **Leia:** Chill, I just threw some Cassian porn at her and we're cool

 **Sabine:** Um...what???

 **Hera:** OK now do I really want to know?

 **Shara:** She means she put some dirty images in her head.

 **Hera:** Why would you DO that?

 **Shara:** Oh, it's an effective technique. Whenever I'm mad at him and leave him on read Kes just sends me a shirtless pic then we're cool again

 **Hera:** Umm

 **Leia:** Has Kanan not figured that out yet?

 **Hera:** Please don't give him ideas

 **Leia:** But it's a win-win situation

 **Hera:** I would really rather not

 **Shara:** Suit yourself. Keep it in mind for future ref, tho, it also works the other way around

 **Sabine:** Omg guys stop talking about Kanan this is weird for me

 **Leia:** Lool sorry

 **Jyn:** Hi guys

 **Shara:** We're talking about boyfriend porn

 **Jyn:** Not sharing any of it I hope

 **Sabine:** DO NOT. ENCOURAGE THEM.

 **Leia:** Chill just imagine-porn, like yesterday

 **Jyn:** Ohhh

 **Jyn:** I'm invested now

 **Hera:** You guys are so perverted

 **Leia:** Trust me babe you haven't seen us in action just yet

 **Sabine:** As long as you don't say anything explicit

 **Sabine:** Or talk about certain body parts

 **Sabine:** I'm serious

 **Shara:** SO ADORABLE AWW

 **Leia:** Let's plan this for a later date but does anyone want to go shopping together

 **Jyn:** What kind of shopping do you have in mind? ;)

 **Hera:** Why is there a winky face? Can someone explain the winky face?

 **Shara:** Actually I'm out shopping right now

 **Sabine:** How are you texting us?

 **Shara:** Changing room

 **Shara:** And no I'm not hogging it I'm like the only customer here

 **Jyn:** Send picss

 **Leia:** Omg yes please

 **Shara:** Well idk

 **Shara:** I'm just trying on bras, guys

 **Sabine:** Those two are going to ask for Shara porn just wait for it

 **Leia:** No we aren't

 **Jyn:** Yes we are if it's sexy lingere

 **Shara:** YES IT IIIS

 **Leia:** SEND PICS

 **Hera:** I hope no one else ever gets access to this chat...

 **Shara:** [IMAGE]

 **Shara:** [IMAGE]

 **Sabine:** omg

 **Sabine:** K I'm so jealous woww

 **Leia:** OMG

 **Jyn:** QUEEN

 **Leia:** SLAYING

 **Jyn:** I don't know if it's the white lace or your amazing arms but I am shook

 **Hera:** PRETTY:333

 **Hera:** I hope your automatic backup is off though or it'll get stored online

 **Shara:** AWW YOU GUYS♡♡

 **Shara:** 'course, mom

 **Leia:** Kes is so lucky adfkjj

 **Shara:** I'm gonna buy this one then?

 **Leia:** Buy it and a red version if they have it

 **Sabine:** Oh red would look really good

 **Jyn:** R E D

 **Shara:** I'll ask them, good idea!

 **Leia:** See this is why need to go shopping together

 **Leia:** You can ask everyone's opinion

 **Jyn:** You know the only opinion she needed for that one was Kes's right?

 **Leia:** Where's the fun in that?

 **Leia:** Also she wouldn't even get to surprise him if he's the one she asked

 **Jyn:** no room for surprises when you share a closet space, leia

 **Leia:** He doesn't look in her UNDERWEAR drawer

 **Sabine:** Stop that thought now

 **Jyn:** How would you know that?

 **Leia:** LIMITS exist yk!

 **Jyn:** tbh you invalidate all those limits when you strip in front of another person

 **Sabine:** Pls stop

 **Shara:** You guys talking about strip teases?

 **Shara:** Oh no kes stays away from my underwear drawer but he does know everything I own

 **Hera:** TMI

 **Jyn:** LOOOL

 **Shara:** Guys that's NOT what I meant

 **Leia:** I am considering your implied offer of teaching us how to do strip teases

 **Shara:** YAS WELCOME TO MY TED TALK!

 **Jyn:** And who you gonna use it on, Leia? ;)

 **Leia:** Jyn

 **Leia:** Wifey

 **Leia:** Please don't make me block your number

 **Jyn:** Come on just admit it

 **Sabine:** 1) I don't want a class on how to strip

 **Leia:** Idk why you think I like that ASSHOLE!

 **Sabine:** 2) it'll make everyone's lives a lot easier if you just admitted you like 'that asshole'

 **Hera:** Don't be so harsh on him

 **Jyn:** Don't be so harsh on the poor asses

 **Shara:** Which asses?

 **Jyn:** the cute donkey things did no wrong

 **Sabine:** Say it, Leia

 **Sabine:** Say "I have a crush on han solo" come on say it

 **Leia:** No way in HELL do I have a CRUSH on him ffs

 **Jyn:** Okay, fine

 **Jyn:** Admit that you're at least attracted to him

 **Leia:** This is the worst betrayal

 **Shara:** You aren't? Not even sexually?

 **Leia:** TF, GUYS

 **Leia:** OKAY

 **Leia:** But only because he's hot

 **Leia:** Which is completely justifiable and you can't blame me for it

 **Leia:** But he's still an asshole

 **Jyn:** THANK YOU

 **Sabine:** FINALLY

 **Shara:** FINALLY

 **Shara:** I can finally breathe now

 **Shara:** See, was that so hard?

 **Leia:** I hate you all

 **Leia:** But just because he's an asshole with sex appeal doesn't mean I actually like him

 **Hera:** Can we keep the swearing at a minimum, please?

 **Shara:** AH with sex appeal, I like that term

 **Hera:** Swearing in short form is still swearing, Shara

 **Leia:** How come no one ever bugs Jyn? It's not fair

 **Jyn:** Because I don't deny anything? Hah

 **Shara:** So you admit you have a crush on Cassian?

 **Jyn:** EW SHARA IT'S NOT A CRUSH

 **Leia:** D E N I A L

 **Shara:** Yep sounds like denial

 **Jyn:** Look

 **Jyn:** You can't judge me

 **Jyn:** He's hot that's all

 **Leia:** Are you sure that's all?

 **Leia:** He's super sweet

 **Leia:** Openly feminist

 **Leia:** Decent and funny

 **Jyn:** So?

 **Leia:** It actually makes sense to like him

 **Jyn:** Doesn't mean I do

 **Leia:** He's an angel with sex appeal

 **Shara:** I'M LAUGHING SO HARD RN

 **Shara:** Kes just shot me a funny look

 **Sabine:** Please take the phone somewhere else

 **Sabine:** I don't want to think about if kes accidentally sees this

 **Shara:** And finds out Jyn's thirsty for his cousin loool

 **Jyn:** @Leia you started this bs

 **Shara:** You both are sooo thirsty XD

 **Leia:** In our defense we aren't SECRETLY MARRIED to a hot guy

 **Shara:** We're NOT secretly married

 **Jyn:** Ofc you'd say that, if it was a secret

 **Shara:** You're right about the hot part, though

 **Sabine:** AGAIN, TMI

 **Shara:** I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING

 **Shara:** Perverts, the lot of you

 **Leia:** Only because we like images of your toned arms, sweetheart

 **Sabine:** Congratulations

 **Sabine:** You are now part of Leia's mental porn reserve

 **Shara:** Honoured. Really.

 **Jyn:** You've been the centerpiece of my reserve for years love

 **Shara:** HAHAHA NO WAY

 **Leia:** I like my Shara porn the best

 **Shara:** Awh

 **Shara:** ilysm♡♡

 **Sabine:** I still think of you with dignity

 **Shara:** Honey for that ily even more

 **Shara:** I have an idea

 **Shara:** Well it's not my idea

 **Shara:** But let's go shopping this Sunday?

 **Sabine:** Sure!

 **Leia:** I think I'm free so YES

 **Jyn:** OKAY

 **Hera:** So the conversation is decent again

 **Hera:** I think I'll be able to make it

 **Sabine:** But I am not entering a lingere store with you lot

 **Leia:** Oh come ON

 **Sabine:** I don't even like anyone

 **Sabine:** Perfectly comfortable in the stuff I own

 **Sabine:** And you're going to do something embarrassing like take pornographic mirror selfies

 **Shara:** Lol I only did it today because of peer pressure!

 **Jyn:** I wouldn't do that

 **Leia:** What if we "accidentally" send said selfies to Cassian?

 **Sabine:** ARE YOU NUTS

 **Jyn:** Can you stop giving me stupid ideas??

 **Jyn:** No way in hell

 **Leia:** Oh but he'd love it

 **Jyn:** HERA MAKE HER STOP

 **Hera:** Leia, you know Jyn is easily influenced

 **Jyn:** HEY!

 **Leia:** [IMAGE]

 **Leia:** Can I send this one?

 **Jyn:** Omg stop sharing my porn on the group

 **Sabine:** That's not porn, it's a crop top

 **Sabine:** And you look pretty good in it

 **Leia:** Can I post it on IG then Cassian will see

 **Jyn:** I sent you that picture in CONFIDENCE

 **Leia:** Yes, and your abs look great in it

 **Shara:** Holyy shit that's GORGEOUS

 **Shara:** Also, didn't know you had abs!!! Woooww

 **Leia:** If Shara approves that's end of discussion

 **Hera:** Guys if Jyn doesn't want you to post it, don't post it

 **Jyn:** Wait

 **Jyn:** Shara are you being serious?

 **Shara:** OFC I'm being serious!

 **Shara:** I'm offended

 **Jyn:** Ugh

 **Jyn:** Fine post it

 **Jyn:** But DON'T TAG ME

 **Leia:** Why not

 **Jyn:** I have a reputation

 **Jyn:** And delete as soon as he's seen it

 **Leia:** Why are you like this?

 **Leia:** Reputation my ass it's probably the prettiest thing you've ever worn

 **Jyn:** I hate you

 **Leia:** I know, sweetheart

 **Jyn:** Want me to post one for Han?

 **Leia:** Omg yes

 **Jyn:** [IMAGE]

 **Shara:** Pretty sure I've seen that before

 **Jyn:** You got any good ones?

 **Jyn:** [IMAGE]

 **Sabine:** I LOVE THAT

 **Leia:** Ew no, my face looks weird

 **Sabine:** What are you even talking about??

 **Shara:** [IMAGE]

 **Leia:** Is that from Greece?

 **Leia:** I thought I lost all my Greece pics

 **Shara:** I still got the ones you sent me

 **Sabine:** Woah

 **Sabine:** I like that even better

 **Jyn:** [IMAGE]

 **Jyn:** I mostly chose this bc Luke looks adorable as Will Turner but you look kinda good too

 **Hera:** Is that Luke?? HE LOOKS SO CUTE!

 **Sabine:** Aww

 **Leia:** Wait can you send a pic from that party without Luke?

 **Sabine:** MORE LUKE PLEASE

 **Sabine:** so sweet and pure my heart

 **Jyn:** [IMAGE]

 **Jyn:** [IMAGE]

 **Hera:** You guys are the CUTEST

 **Sabine:** Awwww

 **Shara:** Okay, this is more cute than sexy, but I love Leia in the second one. Your cheekbones look perfect. Beautiful neck exposure too. And your calves are really nice.

 **Shara:** Also, pirate outfit! I'm pretty sure guys love pirates and things. That's one awesome pirate outfit.

 **Jyn:** Well it would be sexy if you were on your own but Luke kissing your cheek is the most adorable thing ever

 **Jyn:** I think that'll make Han a little jealous too

 **Leia:** HE'S MY BROTHER

 **Jyn:** Oh brothers make them jealous trust me

 **Jyn:** Idk why but that's a fact

 **Leia:** How the hell

 **Shara:** Maybe because you hang out with your brother more than you'll ever hang out with him

 **Shara:** And because girls are comfortable around their brothers but not as much around other guys most of the time

 **Sabine:** That's...kinda true?

 **Leia:** Well idk

 **Leia:** It's a nice picture though

 **Jyn:** Post?

 **Leia:** Yeah and tag both of us

 **Jyn:** Okay!

 **Shara:** I really want to know what goes on in Han's mind when you slay like that...

 **Jyn:** *whispers* p o r n

 **Leia:** I'LL BLOCK YOU I SWEAR

 **Leia:** But yes

 **Leia:** It better make him want things he can never have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews and suggestions are welcome!


	5. Misunderstand the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get complicated, feelings are messed with. Han calls on an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think it was possible for a crackfic to get angsty...but here it is. Please forgive me for paying more attention to this silly thing than my actual fics.

**Group Chat: Guys**

**Luke:** [IMAGE]

**Luke:** guyss look at what jyn posted

**Luke:** it's from lando's costume party last year!

**Luke:** it's by far like the best one I've seen of us

**Luke:** I'm thinking of framing it for leia's birthday present 

**Bodhi:** It's really sweet 

**Bodhi:** who were you dressed up as tho? 

**Bodhi:** oh and did you see the one of Jyn? she looks so pretty my sis

**Luke:** Will Turner 

**Bodhi:** who dat 

**Luke:** um pirates of the carribean Will Turner

**Bodhi:** oh 

**Bodhi:** I've never really watched those

**Luke:** Whattt

**Luke:** What was your childhood 

**Luke:** Yeah jyn looks really cool in that one 

**Han:** Notifications brought me here 

**Bodhi:** holy shit! 

**Han:** I can do jump scares on group chats? Interesting 

**Luke:** Did you see the pic of me and Leia? 

**Han:** Yeah 

**Han:** Cute, kid 

**Han:** What were you though? 

**Luke:** WILL TURNER

**Luke:** was my costume really that bad?? 

**Han:** I never really liked Will 

**Luke:** you are not my friend anymore goodbye 

**Han:** Who was Leia as? 

**Luke:** Just a pirate

**Luke:** Actually she said she wanted to be a space pirate. Not sure what that's supposed to look like. 

**Han:** OK 

**Han:** Look I don't know if I should tell you this, but I think the leia/jyn thing might not be so far fetched after all 

**Luke:** HAN nope no more conspiracy theories we have already established that it's false 

**Bodhi:** We never thought it was real in the first place 

**Cassian:** I thought everyone knew that Lando was making it up?

**Han:** There could've been some truth in it 

**Cassian:** Whatever 

**Han:** Hear me out ok? 

**Han:** This morning they both post pictures of each other 

**Luke:** So? 

**Han:** Listen 

**Han:** Last night Jyn sent me a message on accident

**Luke:** why am I still here listening to this 

**Han:** I think they were planning to go out 

**Cassian:** You do realize that "going out" is something they do anyway? 

**Han:** Well they weren't going out in that sense, for a movie or anything! 

**Han:** Okay this is weird 

**Han:** But you're not going to believe me if I don't tell you 

**Luke:** I don't think we're gonna believe you no matter what you say 

> **New Window: Private Chat: Luke, Bodhi**
> 
> **Bodhi:** dude bit of an emergency here 
> 
> **Luke:** Why what's wrong?
> 
> **Bodhi:** you forgot to tell leia I was added to that group didn't you
> 
> **Luke:** oh 
> 
> **Luke:** oh my God I'm so sorry 
> 
> **Luke:** I'll tell her at once 
> 
> **Bodhi:** NO DON'T
> 
> **Bodhi:** they've already talked too much they're going to KILL me if they find out I've been on the group this whole time 
> 
> **Bodhi:** I swear I don't read their chats but I've accidentally seen some of it
> 
> **Bodhi:** which I'm definitely not supposed to see 
> 
> **Luke:** oh god
> 
> **Luke:** this is bad. Like really bad. 
> 
> **Bodhi:** what if they find out??
> 
> **Luke:** shikes I don't know 
> 
> **Luke:** oh god I hope they don't
> 
> **Bodhi:** I really need to get out I'm really not supposed to see any of it 

**Cassian:** Fine, what was in the message? 

**Kes:** Hi peasants

**Kes:** Wait @Han you're not serious right? 

**Han:** Guys. Jyn asked Leia if she wanted to go out for drinks and then lingere shopping 

**Han:** I am not being perverted, that's exactly what she asked 

**Kes:** ... 

**Kes:** Okay that is pretty weird 

**Kes:** But Shara's friends can be pretty weird 

**Han:** Yeah but this is something we've been hearing about since last Christmas

**Han:** And Lando knows stuff, alright? He doesn't just say things 

**Kes:** Well he's normally credible 

**Kes:** Idk what to believe

**Cassian:** We're missing the most likely explanations here don't you think? 

**Kes:** But Shara told me it wasn't true

**Han:** You really think they tell us everything? 

**Cassian:** You're overthinking this

**Han:** What part of lingere shopping doesn't spell suggestive to you 

**Cassian:** I'm pretty they shop together for various things, Han. I wouldn't be surprised if that's another thing. 

**Han:** Look why would they exclusively shop that? They're not even seeing anyone 

**Cassian:** Which brings us to the other explanation, maybe they are. 

**Han:** No 

**Han:** Okay no way. We would know about it. 

**Cassian:** Not neccessarily

**Cassian:** It's none of our business 

**Han:** Shit, Andor

**Han:** That's even worse 

**Han:** Fuck 

**Han:** Is there a real chance of that? 

**Han:** @Luke do you know anything about this? 

> **New Window: Private Chat: Kes, Cassian**
> 
> **Kes:** Hey do you really think Jyn is seeing someone? 
> 
> **Kes:** I mean it could even be just leia
> 
> **Cassian:** I don't know
> 
> **Kes:** I'll ask Shara? 
> 
> **Cassian:** If Jyn didn't tell us, she doesn't want us to know 
> 
> **Kes:** Dude I know you're upset about this
> 
> **Kes:** And it's okay to be
> 
> **Kes:** But shouldn't you know if it's true first? 
> 
> **Cassian:** It's going to be so much worse if I find out it's true 
> 
> **Kes:** Joder 
> 
> **Kes:** You're right 
> 
> **Kes:** I won't ask.
> 
> **Kes:** You okay? 
> 
> **Cassian:** I'm fine 
> 
> **Cassian:** Really. Don't worry. 
> 
> **Kes:** Ok. 
> 
> **Cassian:** You think the picture leia posted has anything to do with it? 
> 
> **Kes:** You're really not fine, are you? 
> 
> **Cassian:** What did you expect?
> 
> **Kes:** Fuck 
> 
> **Kes:** Okay I'm coming over 
> 
> **Cassian:** Please don't
> 
> **Kes:** With tequila
> 
> **Cassian:** Thank you. 
> 
> **Kes:** Anytime 

  


> **Private Chat: Han, Lando**
> 
> **Han:** Idc if you never come online but you'd better answer me this time asshole

###### 

**7:23 p.m Group Chat: Exclusive Territory**

**Sabine:** I hate old people 

**Sabine:** mostly

**Shara:** Is this about your neighbours? 

**Sabine:** ugh they're such a pain in the ass! 

**Sabine:** I'm so frustrated rn 

**Shara:** Didn't they sign your form? 

**Sabine:** haven't got that far 

**Sabine:** but today she came to my place and tried to talk me out of doing tattoos

**Sabine:** said it wasn't 'ethical'

**Sabine:** and I said I don't KIDNAP people and draw on them wtf 

**Sabine:** and she was like yeah but later in life they regret it?? WTF?

**Shara:** Don't let them bother you, honey 

**Shara:** And your landlord approves right? 

**Sabine:** I want to get my own place to run my business anyway 

**Sabine:** I only want to have it here for a couple more months or else I'll lose my reputation

**Sabine:** and I need the money 

**Shara:** Would they really complain tho? This old lady doesn't seem the malicious type 

**Sabine:** they're old ppl, Shara. Lots of free time. 

**Sabine:** @Hera can you proofread the thing I sent you 

**Shara:** Maybe you can sweet-talk them? 

**Shara:** Visit with a cake or something 

**Sabine:** they're not gonna like that if they're diabetic 

**Shara:** Sweetheart please 

**Shara:** Don't be so negative 

**Shara:** Try to get along with them, I'm sure they won't mind your business then 

**Hera:** @Sabine sure, hon 

**Sabine:** THANK YOU:33

**Sabine:** you're the best 

**Sabine:** How long will you need?

**Hera:** Just got home, give me till tomorrow morning? 

**Shara:** Watcha talking about 

**Sabine:** Letter to the old ppl listing why I can run my tattoo parlour

**Shara:** Can you really? Without a, yk, license

**Sabine:** shhhh 

**Hera:** Lol 

**Hera:** Actually it's a letter requesting license

**Sabine:** lies

**Sabine:** I don't operate within the law 

**Hera:** sure, hon. Maybe don't ask a lawyer to proofread your letter next time? 

**Shara:** lol you guys 

**Hera:** I really gtg 

**Hera:** Bye, loves! 

**Sabine:** bye, ilysm♡ 

**Shara:** See ya later kween 

Hera smiled at her screen before switching it off, then reaching into her pockets for the house keys. She walked into the living room to find all its lights turned on and a pleasant smell wafting from the kitchen nearby. 

Her smile grew more pronounced, subtly delighted. She loved coming home exactly for surprises like this. 

She'd almost made it into the kitchen before she was tackled from behind. 

" _Kanan,_ " she exclaimed, trying not to laugh too hard as her fiancé kissed up and down the side of her neck, arms locked in a hold around her waist that she couldn't break. "Oh my God, stop- _stop."_

He titled his head to a side, giving her a little bit of breathing room, and inquired, "Hard day at the office?"

She grinned, leaning forward for a quick peck on the lips that he eagerly tried to follow. "No more than usual. What's this?"

"This," Kanan answered, sounding no small degree of pleased with himself, "is the result of two hours of YouTube cooking videos. You're welcome. Happy anniversary, by the way."

Hera froze. No way. She couldn't have _possibly_ forgotten. "It's...It's today? I thought..."

But Kanan was wearing a shit-eating grin when she next looked at him, and her shock of guilt turned into an unamused scowl.

"And here I thought you were being sweet."

He hummed non-committally. "When's our anniversary, love?"

Hera bit into her lower lip and treated him to a smile she hoped came off as clever, like he was asking because _he_ couldn't remember. In actuality she wished she could answer that question without looking at her phone calender. 

Kanan raised an eyebrow, but she was relieved to find he only looked amused and a little pleased with her bad acting, but not hurt. Never hurt. He didn't need any of the typical things to affirm that she loved him. They didn't _do_ anniversaries, Valentine's days or cutesy couple things. They didn't need to.

"I love you," said Hera, instinctively.

He ducked his head, hiding a smile. "I know."

She snorted. "Two hours of cooking vids, huh? You wouldn't do that if you weren't smitten for me."

"Oh, I'm smitten," he bent to kiss her. "And admit it, you are, too. That's why you're wearing that ring."

"It's a nice ring," said Hera, but ran a thumb over the ring nevertheless, fighting back a smile as she thought of the day she'd seen it the first time.

She followed him to where he'd laid out an impressive spread on their dining table- impressive in a very loose sense of the word, but impressive anyway considering who was responsible for it. He'd made two different (oval-shaped, unevenly-crusted) pizzas and a bowl of fruit salad, accompanied on the side by a store-bought cake. A cake dripping chocolate with little hearts arranged at the top. This decoration likely done at home. She had to pause and take in a breath. 

Kanan emerged at her shoulder. "I'm sure it tastes better than it looks."

She spun around immediately, throwing her arms around his neck and crashing her lips to his fiercely. She kissed him relentlessly until he made a small noise at the back of his throat, then pulled back to sink her teeth gently into his lower lip. 

" _Thank you,_ " she said, a little breathlessly. "It looks amazing. Thank you."

(She had flattering comments about every item, generous enough with her praise that he actually started looking embarrassed. Embarrassed Kanan was a rare thing. She liked to think she brought out the best in him.)

Dinner was still in progress when he raised an important question. 

"When do we plan on telling everyone?"

Hera looked over the rim of her glass. "We've...already told them?"

Her fiancé rolled his eyes fondly. "Not about the engagement. You know. The actual wedding."

"The wedding," Hera smiled, put her drink down. "Yeah. Um. We have to formally invite them, right?"

Kanan ran a hand through his hair, a nervous tic since he'd cut it short. "We didn't even tell them there was going to be a wedding."

"Okay. Well." She pursed her lips. "Let's get them all in one place and break the news."

He winced. "That'll be difficult to schedule and you know it."

They settled into an award silence. 

"How about movie night?"

Kanan looked up. "Everyone's going for it?"

Hera rolled her eyes fondly. "Everyone always goes, love."

"Seriously?"

She laughed. "Yeah, seriously. They don't all have strict working hours."

He mulled it over. "Sounds good. Where are they having it?"

"Han's place."

"So Leia isn't going to be there."

Hera almost chortled. "No, she's making an exception for movie night. Don't worry, she's mature enough to admit now that she doesn't hate him."

_Or that she's attracted to assholes with sex appeal._

Hera blinked. 

_Damn it, guys._

"Okay," Kanan reached across the table, took her hand. "Call Han and inform him we'll be there?"

She squeezed gently, loving every bit of warmth in the contact, in his eyes. 

"Of course."

###### 

**Private Chat: Han, Lando**

**Lando:** How nice to hear from you again 

**Lando:** I recall recently being removed from a group you made? 

**Han:** That's because you lied to me 

**Lando:** Leia and Jyn? I'm still pretty sure they're a thing. 

**Han:** Fuck off

**Han:** There's a bigger problem now 

**Lando:** And why should I help you? 

**Han:** This is why they say friendship is dead 

**Lando:** Fine, what do you want? 

**Han:** I need to know if Leia is dating anyone 

**Han:** And for fuck's sake don't come up with that 'its jyn' nonsense 

**Han:** Because we have established that it isn't

**Lando:** So you want me to investigate? 

**Han:** Yeah 

**Lando:** Name your price

**Han:** We are _not_ roleplaying 

**Lando:** Lol okay but you have to buy me drinks 

**Han:** Okay. Thanks. 

**Han:** Seriously, thanks. 

**Lando:** Don't mention it. The drinks will be pricey. 


	6. In the Defense Of Comic Books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bodhi picks up a ginger, Leia doesn’t set traps and Jyn gets asked out in front of the last two people she wants to be asked out in front of. 
> 
> Luke experiences epiphany.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all my readers, 
> 
> 1) Thank you for all the support! I'm really feeling dedicated to this crackfic now; and there's going be a plot unraveling very soon. 
> 
> 2) **Do NOT microwave sausages.** Seriously, it's highly carcinogenic. This fic does not promote microwaving of sausages. You have been warned.
> 
> 3) You CANNOT convince me that in a modern au our favourite Star Wars characters wouldn’t all be nerds to varying degrees.

**Private Chat: Leia, Jyn**

**Jyn:** bbg what time is movie night?

...

...

 **Leia:** 7.30

 **Leia:** How are you getting there?

 **Jyn:** Bodhi said he could drive me. You taking anyone?

 **Leia:** Sab and Shara

 **Jyn:** Sounds fun

 **Leia:** Yup, we're going to take the long route on purpose so we can listen to our playlist

 **Jyn:** THE playlist?

 **Leia:** The one and only.

 **Jyn:** Awesome

 **Leia:** What're you gonna wear?

 **Jyn:** remember the rose gold crop top and the shorts you got for my birthday

 **Leia:** YES

 **Leia:** Finally!

 **Jyn:** well now that you remember it

 **Jyn:** I'm wearing my tony stark tshirt

 **Leia:** I hate you

 **Leia:** This is why you aren't making strides with anyone

 **Jyn:** Shut up

 **Leia:** Why do you never take my advice?

 **Jyn:** Pretty shit is not my style

 **Jyn:** I will sacrifice my style for no man

 **Leia:** You're the worst

 **Leia:** You do know that it's not so much a 'sacrifice' as a trap in the right circumstances?

 **Jyn:** OK then let's just say I'm not desperate enough to set traps

 **Jyn:** Are you going to set any kind of trap tonight?

 **Leia:** Hah. If only he was deserving.

 **Jyn:** You did say he was hot

 **Leia:** A lot of hot people are assholes, and undeserving

 **Leia:** And FYI he's not hot enough to bypass the assholery

 **Jyn:** Whatever that helps you sleep at night

 **Jyn:** if it's 7:30 I'd better get going

 **Leia:** Can you at LEAST wear the cute shorts?

 **Jyn:** Isn't it an odd combo

 **Leia:** Would look cute. Specially if he's into Marvel

 **Leia:** Which we know he is

 **Leia:** Wait a minute

 **Leia:** This IS a trap isn't it?

 **Jyn:** girlfriend I think you watch too many rom-coms

 **Jyn:** And no, he's a DC person

 **Leia:** Ugh

 **Leia:** Of course he is

 **Leia:** Dark and depressing

 **Jyn:** mostly

 **Jyn:** not all the time though

 **Leia:** Ik, he's a ray of sunshine sometimes

 **Jyn:** i was actually talking about DC comics in general but ok

 **Leia:** Oh yeahh, how many in your collection now?

 **Jyn:** 14\. can’t afford I mostly borrow.

 **Jyn:** I'll wear the shorts if I havent outgrown them

 **Leia:** I GOT YOU THEM LAST YEAR JYN. LAST. YEAR.

 **Jyn:** weight gain happens

 **Leia:** Weight gain my ass, you just don't want to dress like a human being.

 **Jyn:** & if they're not too short

 **Jyn:** a wedgie in cute shorts is still a wedgie

 **Leia:** You're trying really hard, aren't you?

 **Jyn:** I'm supplying legitimate reasons to not wear those shorts

 **Leia:** Next time I'm not getting you a birthday present. It'll hardly ever get used, if at all, so what's the point?

 **Jyn:** there is a very simple solution to our problem:

 **Jyn:** buy me stuff I will actually make use of

 **Leia:** If you actually listened to me you'd get dates more often.

 **Jyn:** that would make sense if you went on any dates yourself

 **Leia:** Hey I get offers. You know I just turn them down.

 **Jyn:** oh deer I wonder why

 **Jyn:** yk if you were as proficient in the art of wooing men as you say you are you'd have snagged han a long time ago

 **Leia:** Han is stupid

 **Leia:** The normal rules don't apply to him

 **Leia:** And who said he's the reason I'm sacrificing dates?

 **Jyn:** mm keep telling yourself that babe

 **Leia:** You are such a pain in the ass

 **Jyn:** But I'm your pain in the ass

 **Jyn:** And it's a nice ass so I have no problem being a pain in it

 **Leia:** haha ily

 **Jyn:** I gtg, need to get ready for tonight

 **Jyn:** byee

 **Leia:** Bye love!

 **Jyn:** See ya

**Private Chat: Jyn, Bodhi**

**Jyn:** Hey bodhs we good to go tonight?

 **Bodhi:** Hii

 **Bodhi:** yep, my place at 6?

 **Jyn:** That's early

 **Bodhi:** I adopted another cat I want to introduce you

 **Jyn:** You did??

 **Jyn:** Bodhs you're the best!

 **Jyn:** is it a he or a she?

 **Bodhi:** why don't you come over and find out :P

 **Jyn:** ugh you're killing me

 **Jyn:** it's been so long since I last played with a cat

 **Bodhi:** bc you haven't been 2 my place in 3 wks

 **Jyn:** ik, I'm sorry

 **Bodhi:** nvm , you've been busy

 **Bodhi:** also

 **Bodhi:** I'm not feeling very creative so you can name it too, if you want

 **Jyn:** Yess

 **Jyn:** Thank you!

 **Bodhi:** np :)

Of the handful of places Jyn dared to familiarise herself with, Bodhi's building was the closest thing that came to a second home. Her own flat wasn't much; it provided accommodation, a fridge and a bathroom, which was more or less all she needed to get by as an adult in her early 20s without any requirements but those at a personal level. But Bodhi had at least one other mouth to feed besides his own, and his apartment was a little more spacious, bright and comfortable. She'd taken to spending most of her weekends there in recent years.

Bodhi's 'one other mouth to feed' was perched on the stair railing that ran parallel to the apartment's door and gazing at her with twinkling, piercing green eyes. It mewled in recognition and offered its ears for scratching, which she did, but that was about all the affection the black cat was willing to entertain. It turned away from her and jumped down to the railing below.

"Proud as ever, Imp," Jyn called after it, before ringing the doorbell and hanging back. Bodhi answered only after a minute had passed.

"Sorry, but the new one was scratching my curtains," he offered an apologetic smile. "Come in. I'd give you a hug, but then we'd both be covered in fur."

Jyn gave him a one-armed hug nevertheless, making him laugh and reciprocate hesitantly, before making her way in with a familiarity that always felt pleasant.

She wasted no time in looking around, but there was no sign of a curtain-scratching cat. She payed attention when Bodhi started calling for his new pet.

A soft-looking ginger head peeked out from behind the curtains and Jyn felt her heart melt. The new cat was...so _freaking_ adorable. It was ginger-mixed-white with bright green eyes and a patch of white fur on its forehead, and it was looking between herself and Bodhi inquisitively.

She dropped to her knees and crawled closer to it, carefully holding out a hand and making soothing noises. Bodhi chose to stand and watch with a hint of amusement on his face.

She easily coaxed the cat out from behind the curtains, scooping it up gently as she got to her feet. The ginger appeared alarmed for a moment, but she stroked its head slowly and it made a few noises before relaxing in her arms. She held it like one would hold a child.

"She's beautiful," she whispered to Bodhi, afraid of making a noise that would startle the cat. "Where'd you find her?"

"Behind my building." Bodhi sighed. "She was pretty bad off. Dirty and hungry. I've been feeding her for the past week, took her to the vet as well. Quick recovery, though."

The cat purred as if in question, and Jyn ran her fingers through the top of its head again. "You're safe now, sweetheart. Bodhi's going to take good care of you."

The cat started to stretch, purring loudly, and it curled in on itself to sleep the moment Jyn set it down. She raised an eyebrow. "Naps a lot?"

"Kind of like me," laughed Bodhi. "I can't wait to show her to Luke, he's going to go crazy. But since you got here first, I suppose you can name her."

"I can't think of one off the top of my head," protested Jyn. "Give me some time."

"You have to give me one before Luke does, Jyn, or I'll have to choose between the two of you."

She treated him to a look of mock incredulity. "Should that even be a problem, now, when Luke's probably going to suggest a name like...I don't know, Thor?"

"I would seriously consider Thor."

Jyn laughed. "No way. And it's a she. We need to give her a...fitting name. Pretty like she is."

"Thor is _very_ pretty," said Bodhi seriously, as if of ended by the mere notion that he wasn't.

Jyn playfully swatted his arm. "Shut up. I'm thinking."

Bodhi pulled out his phone. "You get two minutes, or I text Luke."

"You're seriously going to time me?"

Bodhi quirked an eyebrow. "The seconds are ticking, Jyn."

"Okay, okay," Jyn raised her palms. "Work with me, alright? How's her personality?"

"She likes affection, and acts like the place is hers. Also, Imp and her didn't hit off so well, she keeps biting his cushion and eats food from both plates."

"Does she listen when you tell her to do something?"

Bodhi snorted. "Never. I have to physically intervene to get her off the couch, and she keeps ripping my curtains."

Jyn grinned, her face suddenly brightening as if a cartoon lightbulb had popped over her head. "Got it."

Bodhi actually set his phone down. "Tell me."

"She's a little rebel," Jyn sat back, allowing herself a self-satisfied smiled. "Never listening, doing stuff she's not supposed to. Let's call her Rebel."

Bodhi pursed his lips. "So you want my cats to be Imp and Rebel?"

"Yep. And the names go well together for some reason. I don't think Luke could top that."

"Alright." Bodhi smiled at her, then at the ball of fluff napping on his rug. "Works for me."

**Private Chat: Hera, Kanan**

**Hera:** You on your way?

 **Kanan:** Just got off from work

 **Kanan:** Where does Han live again?

 **Hera:** Hold on I'll send you a pin

 **Hera:** [1 ATTACHMENT]

 **Hera:** There's a pizza place nearby, shouldn't be too hard to find

 **Kanan:** Sure ok

 **Kanan:** Shit

 **Kanan:** Shit I took the wrong train

 **Hera:** Please tell me you didn't

 **Kanan:** Fuck

 **Hera:** Language

 **Kanan:** Sorry

 **Kanan:** I'm probably going to be late, love.

 **Kanan:** I'll see you there

 **Hera:** Okay

 **Hera:** Hey

 **Hera:** We're going to tell them tonight, yeah?

 **Kanan:** Yeah

 **Kanan:** Nervous?;)

 **Hera:** Nope

 **Hera:** But I'm not judging you for being nervous, sweetheart.

 **Kanan:** Let's see who's nervous when it comes to it

 **Hera:** Whatever that makes you happy

 **Hera:** Now get on the right train and hurry up

 **Kanan:** Yes ma'am

Luke walked into Han's apartment to the delicious smell of something burning. Wait, that didn't sound right. The smell of something delicious burning? No, it still sounded cynical and somewhat psychopathic. The smell of burning food?

Well, a nice smell anyway.

He followed the scent into the kitchen, rapping twice on the wall outside just so he wouldn't be turning up announced. Han whirled around from where he'd been fixing himself a greasy-looking sandwich.

"What's burning?" asked Luke conversationally.

Han blinked, not registering the words for a moment. "Is that the trending way of asking what's up?"

"What? No, no," Luke shook his head helplessly. "I meant to ask what's cooking. Like. What you're making."

Han looked at his skeptically before gesturing at the mess of ham and cheese in front of him. "Sandwich."

Luke bit his lip. "That's not what I- okay, let's put it this way. What's the nice smell?"

" _Oh,_ " it dawned on Han before he snorted to himself and rolled his eyes. "Sorry. I put some sausages to microwave. They should be done now."

He shoved his sandwich in the toaster, holding the lid down because the clasp had broken last month, and expected Luke would say something to fill in the silence before it turned awkward. His toaster took over six minutes to toast anything, environmental disaster that it was, and he didn’t enjoy the idea of six minutes standing in one place, holding a toaster down, and waiting for his generally more conversational friend to speak.

A minute in, suspicious now, Han turned around to check if Luke was even around anymore. He _was_ , but he was standing still, and his face was doing something funny.

“Kid?” ventured Han carefully. “What’s gotten into you?”

Luke blinked, snapping out out of his reverie, but he still looked a little dazed.

“Sorry,” he said distractedly. “Just, um.”

Han frowned, concerned enough now that he let go of the toaster. “What’s wrong?”

Luke looked up at him, and he finally placed the odd expression on the boy’s face- awe.

“That is so cool,” Luke whispered, almost reverent.

“What? What are you talking about? What’s cool?”

Luke’s gaze was directed at a spot behind him, not on him, and Han whirled around to see-

His microwave working, the dish inside rotating slowly under a warm light.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” continued Luke, and he spoke quietly, like some sort of spell would be broken if he was any louder.

Han‘s eyebrows shot all the way to his hairline. “Do _what?_ ”

He was almost prepared for Luke to hiss at him to keep it down, but all of that was in his head, and Skywalker instead gave him a straight answer, albeit in the same weird tone.

“Microwave sausages.”

Han blinked. “ _What._ ”

“I didn’t know you could just...not fry them. That you can make them without frying them. Wow.”

“Kid.” Han slapped his palm to his forehead. “You gotta be shitting me.”

Bodhi Rook owned a Toyota that looked like one of those retro movie props that had no value anywhere outside of the silver screen. Perhaps not even inside the silver screen, actually, unless it was a documentary about road accidents, because the cream-coloured car was fractured, dented and otherwise falling apart all around.

It was also refusing to start.

Jyn hit her head back against the seat and drew a long, patient breath.

“This is the second time it’s happened when I’ve been here.”

“She’s normally reliable, okay!” Bodhi squeaked, getting defensive the way he always did when his ride was insulted. Jyn had always meant to ask if the car was an old family heirloom or something- nobody should be attached to a car like this without good reason.

“Okay.” Jyn shook her head, resolving to stare distantly into the small parking lot they were stranded in. “Okay. We need to find a way to get to Han’s place.”

Bodhi turned the keys in the ignition again, and the car issued a few dying coughs, before it sunk back down and went still. For the third time.

“I can’t understand what’s wrong,” he said miserably, and Jyn felt just the briefest touch of pity towards him. Maybe the car _was_ a family asset.

“Hey,” she offered up, placing a hand on his shoulder. “We can figure it out tomorrow. Maybe she just needs another service, you know?”

Bodhi sniffled. “Maybe.”

She patted him lightly on the cheek. “Come on, out you go. I’ll call an Über.”

They got out of the car, Bodhi closing his door carefully. He shook his head.

“I don’t think it’s worth it, to go all the way to Han’s. But if Cassian’s on the way we can hitch a ride with him?”

Bodhi dialled Cassian’s number and pressed the phone to his ear. It rang, deep and slow, for all of ten seconds before being picked up.

“Cassian is driving,” announced Kay’s mechanical voice. “And as it is inadvisable to answer the phone when driving, and because he asked me to, I am answering on behalf of him.”

Even in his lingering state of upset, Bodhi had to repress a smile. “Um. Hi Kay, it’s Bodhi.”

Jyn raised an eyebrow. Kay? Kay was coming for movie night?

“Could you...could you tell Cassian that I need a lift? My car’s not, um, it’s not working.”

Cassian’s voice came through. “No problem, Bodhi. You’re on speaker, by the way, so Kay isn’t doing as much help as he makes it sound.”

Bodhi actually did laugh this time, and Jyn was allowed in on the conversation when he set his own phone on speaker. “Glad to hear I didn’t bother Kay too much.”

"I have already been bothered enough, as is evident by my going to Han Solo's movie night," came Kay's blank voice. “I was supposed to coordinate with Artoo and Threepio on our web development program.”

"You got him out of the house?” Bodhi grinned. “I'm proud, Cass." He glanced at Jyn, who was making no effort to be part of the conversation but listening to it anyway. He could use that, he decided, and added, "Also, I might have one extra passenger with me."

"What does _might have_ entail?" asked Kay, flat.

"It means I have. Okay." He rolled his eyes. "You have space, right?"

"Yes," said Cassian. "But one of you will have to take the front seat, because Kay's sulking in three quarters of the back."

Kay sounded indignant.

"I am not sulking."

"You're researching for your thesis. When the company is good, that looks like sulking to me."

"I answered the phone for you. I had to reach over to the front seat. I am not sulking."

Bodhi snorted loudly. He didn’t know how or why Cassian was bringing his roommate along for Han’s movie night, but it was reason enough for someone like Kay to be put in a prissy mood. “Sure, Kay. And thank you! What time will you be here.”

“Give me five minutes,” answered Cassian.

“Five minutes in the event of Cassian not choosing stop at the traffic lights coming up six meters ahead, or the next one, in another fifty meters.”

“ _Really,_ Kay?”

“Your GPS shows the upcoming traffic blocks. You really should be paying more attention to it.”

Jyn could practically _hear_ Cassian roll his eyes to the heavens. His sigh rasped through the speakerphone.

“Somewhere around ten minutes. Just hang in there, Bodhi.”

The call was terminated before Kay could pass another smart remark, and Bodhi sniggered. He seemed to have forgotten of his own ongoing car crisis, and for that she was grateful.

“Think we can get Han to dial down the A/C this time?” He asked her, mimicking curling his arms around himself. “I brought the warmest non-winter jacket I own, but Han’s A/C is possessed.”

“You’re telling me.” Jyn grunted. “Leia was honest-to-god trying to convince me to wear a pair of shorts.”

Bodhi eyed her getup of Tony Stark t-shirt, green three-quarters and sneakers. “I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation. That A/C brings the temperature of the whole room down to just below freezing, and Han lost the remote. So unless he’s found the remote by now, which is highly unlikely given the state of his apartment, that’ll be the standard setting that we cannot control. And he won’t turn the damn thing off either, saying it’s hot without it.”

Jyn big back a grin; it would not do to show amusement at Bodhi’s latest rant of the world’s injustices. She’d missed the last time Han had hosted movie night, so she hadn’t known about the A/C remote fiasco. Not having herself experienced what sounded like a miniature cataclysm, she merely found the story veering to the side of funny. “Want to take a guess as to the _real_ reason he doesn’t turn it off?”

Bodhi frowned. “There’s a real reason? So it’s not just his preference of sub-zero climates?”

“Nope,” said Jyn wisely. “It’s probably his justification for sitting so close to Leia. You know, warmth and everything.”

Bodhi actually guffawed. “I am not surprised. Not surprised _at all._ You know how much easier life would be for all of us if they just admitted to it already? _We_ wouldn’t have to suffer his demonic air conditioner unit.”

Jyn sighed. “It’ll be easier to convert Spock into the Klingon way of life than to make them admit to that.”

Bodhi laughed, punching her playfully in the arm. “Heaven above, Jyn, you’re such a _nerd._ ”

She gaped at him. “Look who that’s coming from!”

“Would you stop that? Playing Donkey Kong doesn’t make me a nerd.”

“Playing Donkey Kong on a Nintendo DS from a decade ago makes any respectable adult not-so-respectable.”

“Hey, listening to Aerosmith or watching Thundercats at twenty-three doesn’t do you any favours either!”

Jyn sniffed. “Don’t you dare insult Thundercats.”

Bodhi snickered, shaking his head wistfully. “Honest, Jyn, I swear you and Cassian are just made for each other.”

Jyn stilled, all traces of her joking demeanour seeping out of her features. “What?”

“You know who else watches kiddies shows from the past century?” Bodhi teased, clearly enjoying the prophecy he was preaching. “Oh yes, I found out. And I heard that you guys occasionally have very long nerd-to-nerd chats too.”

“Okay, first off-” Jyn shook her head, annoyed most of all that Bodhi seemed to be getting the desired rise out of her. “That doesn’t _mean_ anything, least of all the way you think it does. We just have some stuff in common and we talk about them. That’s basically what friends _do_.”

Bodhi raised an eyebrow at her, clearly not buying it.

“Sure. Like you and I are friends. You’re not interested in him _at all._ ”

“Shut up,” muttered Jyn, stuffing her hands in her pockets. She couldn’t deny anything, especially not when Bodhi already knew too much. Denial would almost certainly prove his point further, and sound like guilt.

She was still giving him a rather petulant silent treatment when Cassian’s (less beat-up than Bodhi’s, but not altogether impressive) car pulled before the entrance of the building, and Bodhi flashed her a wicked grin before taking to the wind. Her face dropped into a slightly confused frown and she followed at an unhurried pace, wondering what he could possibly be up to.

When she reached the car, she saw that Bodhi was already inside, in the backseat next to Kay, and giving her his widest possible shit-eating grin as he gestured to the passenger seat.

 _So mature,_ Jyn mouthed to him, before fixing a small smile and walking around to the front. Cassian turned her way as she slid into the seat next to his.

“Hi,” he said with a smile.

“I deduced a seventy percent probability that Bodhi’s extra passenger would be you,” Kay informed her, in his own unique way of saying hello.

“If you say so,” she remarked somewhat fondly, before looking back at Cassian as he started to drive. “Hey. Done with _Death of the Family_ yet?”

Bodhi made an obvious chortling noise right behind her, and she felt like leaning across and smacking him upside the head. _Of course_ she had to go and say _that,_ right in front of the one person who wouldn’t let her hear the end of it. But it was how they always greeted each other, dammit.

“I have some practical questions, like how his peeled-off face didn’t decompose for all of a few months.” Cassian paused, seeming to think about it. “Actually, I was wondering if he’d, realistically speaking, even _have_ a face in the next installation. There’s no way that thing can last him two comics.”

Jyn willed herself to ignore the subtle kicks Bodhi was giddily giving the underside of her seat. “Well. He’s the Joker. You’d be surprised with what he’s capable of.”

“I can never grasp why the two of you are so invested in completely unrealistic and over-the-top comic books,” Kay sniffed. “I keep telling Cassian that they’re a distraction from his work. Also, there comic book culture hasn’t evolved with the rest of the world in the last couple of decades, because one hardly comes across references to periods of history other than the two world wars, or a change in the way villains and female characters are portrayed, or even original plots. There is very little to gain from spending your hard earned money on accumulating a collection.”

Jyn rolled her eyes. “Holy crap, how do you _live_ with him?”

“Bliss is ignorance, ignorance is bliss, and that’s all ye ever know and all ye ever need to know.” Cassian wrinkled his nose. “Wait, I don’t think that goes.”

“It doesn’t,” Bodhi pointed out, “Make any contextual sense.”

“I think I got John Keats mixed up with something Foaly said.”

“I love Foaly,” said Jyn.

Cassian’s responding delight was full-blown, enough so that he took his eyes off the road when he exclaimed, “ _Shit,_ you read them too?”

Bodhi made a gagging noise from behind her, and she nearly rocked back in her seat to hit him in the chin with it. “Yeah. Obviously. Have I never mentioned…?”

“No!”

Jyn had the good grace to look somewhat sheepish, but she was smiling more than anything, and Bodhi could probably sense it but she didn’t care. “Oh, okay. Well, I’m mentioning it now.”

“Wow.” Cassian was grinning as much as she was, even with his eyes back on the road now. “Hey, it’s a little early, but you wouldn’t happen to be going for NYCC this year, would you?”

Her heart did a little excited flip in her chest. “Actually…”

“Holy shit, Jyn.” He almost sounded breathless. “Can we...I mean, if you don’t already have plans, do you think I could come with you? I mean, if that’s okay. What I mean is, Kay isn’t willing to leave his website thing for a few days, and Luke and Kes said they both might not be free-”

She could hear Bodhi screaming silently behind her, barely able to restrain himself from commenting and absolutely waiting for the moment he could get her alone to bug her about it, but she found it difficult to be concerned about that _now._ This was an important moment. This was...good. Really good. She tried to sound neutral when she replied but it took every ounce of effort she could give.

“Of course. It’ll be fun.”

In a startling moment of self-realisation, she found she really couldn’t wait to tell Leia about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I could not resist throwing in references. Least of all Artemis Fowl references. Come on, people who’re interested in the things you like are always higher up on the attractiveness scale, and we all know Cassian and Jyn are both 100/100s.
> 
> Also, getting asked out to a comic con is simply _the_ most romantic thing.


	7. Chucky’s Unwarranted Curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which childish pranks are played, conversations are had, and Han’s demonic A/C strikes again. 
> 
> Everyone gets to hear the good news.

Luke didn’t need to have mystic powers to notice that Han had been shooting him sideways looks for the past twenty minutes, while they shared a plate of sausages between them in awkward silence. It made him restless; his friendship with Han was a comfortable one, and they hardly ever experienced this level of awkwardness when left to each other’s company.  
  
Unable to bear it anymore, Luke put his phone down, tearing his earplugs out, and shifted the full force of his attention in Han’s direction. The other guy startled.  
  
“Okay, you’ve been giving me weird looks,” Luke informed him promptly. “What’s going on?”  
  
Han’s reflex reaction was to scowl way too defensively to be subtle. “No I didn’t. Haven’t. Haven’t been. Nothing’s going on.”  
  
The blonde boy quirked an eyebrow. “Okay, now I know that something is definitely going on.”  
  
“There isn’t.” Han plucked one of the crisp, sad-looking microwaved sausages pointedly, indicating that they were done talking about this. Luke didn’t buy it for a second.  
  
“Leia,” he said simply, testing a theory.  
  
Han stiffened. “Huh?”  
  
“I knew it!” Luke beamed, looking way too triumphant than was deserved. It had, after all, not been a very difficult deduction. “So what’s going on this time? Did she disagree with the movie you picked?”  
  
”No!” protested Han, too quickly, before realising his mistake. The damage had already been done, however, so he gingerly resigned himself to amending it instead. “I mean, yes, she did, but that’s not the problem.”  
  
The blonde pushed his chair back and drew his knees up onto the seat, eyes sparking with interest. It was hard to tell what exactly that look was- maybe Luke Skywalker really enjoyed helping people out, maybe he loved listening in on real-life drama, or maybe he just lived on ammunition to tease his friends with where their love lives were concerned. Possibly a combination of all three.  
  
Han half-groaned, half rolled his eyes, before settling for his miserable fate. He’d meant to ask Luke anyway, because he absolutely had to have this information soon.

He took a breath. “Is Leia seeing anyone?”

To his amazement, Luke’s expression became one of total confusion. “Wait, _is she?”_

He gaped at him. “You don’t- you don’t _know?_ ”

Luke sat up straight immediately, eyes wide, dragging himself back to the table. “No! I mean, I didn’t even think...well, she doesn’t tell me _everything_ , obviously, but this is the sort of thing I’d know- unless she’s, uh, waiting for the right time to tell me? Maybe they aren’t serious.”

“Is there a chance she _isn’t_ seeing anyone at all?”

“Um. Oh boy.” Luke nervously chewed his bottom lip in thought. “I really don’t know. Like, she didn’t even mention it, or drop any hints, so that’s possible too. Who told you about this?”

Han shook his head, trying to ignore the sick knot that had formed in his gut. He hoped, he really did, and there _was_ hope, but the alternative was that he’d lost his chance. He...didn’t want to deal with that possibility, right now.

“Have you read the group chat recently?”

“No,” admitted Luke. “Not since day before yesterday, at least. What happened?”

He resisted the urge to start drumming his fingers on the table. That would be too obvious a giveaway for the raging turmoil inside his skull. “Well, it’s like this. After Jyn accidentally sent me that message meant for Leia- you know, you were online when I mentioned it- Cassian suggested that maybe they’re...going out with someone? One of them, maybe, so we still don’t know, but there’s that chance.”

Luke frowned, taking this in. He really hadn’t bothered browsing the rest of the messages at the time, but he realised now that he’d missed a lot. “If that’s true, you know, I think there’s a bigger chance it’s Jyn. Because Leia would tell me, but Jyn isn’t all that open about stuff. She normally tells Bodhi almost everything, but she might have not told him about it yet, either.”

Han found himself nodding in agreement before Luke was even done talking. It made sense, but more than that, it was a relief- or at least, a bigger chance that spelt hope. He was probably right. It probably had nothing to do with Leia at all. “That’s a good bet.”

Luke clasped his shoulder lightly, smiling reassuringly. Was he _that_ obvious? Shit.

“It’s a really good bet. I’ll talk to Bodhi tonight and try to get something out of him. We can put two and two together and be sure about this.”

“Yeah. I guess we can.”

“Great!” Luke swiped his phone back off the table. “Don’t worry, you’ll see; this is just a misunderstanding. I’m at least seventy percent sure Leia isn’t dating anyone.”

“Seventy percent,” murmured Han, wondering just how the hell anyone could be optimistic with odds that low.

 

Cassian pulled the car into the parking lot Han recommended for his visitors- that of a run-down grocery store close to his building whose owners wouldn’t object too much because ‘they were bankrupt anyway’- while Leia’s white Three-Series was reversing into a spot. Still concentrating intently on not smiling too much and resisting the temptation to ask Cassian more questions about his plans for Comic Con, Jyn didn’t even have the presence of mind to ogle her friend’s beautiful car.

Bodhi was out first, greeting Sabine and Shara with an enthusiastic hug each, followed by Kay, who simply nodded in greeting. From the passenger seat, Jyn caught Leia’s eye.

 _Look at you,_ the brunette mouthed, an insufferable smirk curving the edge of her lips.

Jyn discretely flipped her the bird. She chortled, then wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Cassian, throughout this exchange, was digging around the gearbox compartment for his keys or something.

Shara peeked in by her window, wondering who Leia was communicating with, and her eyes widened upon seeing Jyn. She didn’t waste time trying to tease her, though. Just- _son of a bitch!-_ turned around and hurriedly told Leia that they should get out of here.

The two girls dragged a confused Sabine after them, crossing the parking lot to the exit, and Bodhi caught on, delightedly shooting her a pair of finger guns before himself dragging Kay and running after them. Jyn was left appalled and disbelieving because _really? Really?_

Cassian muttered a curse and shut the compartment. “I forgot my house keys.”

Jyn offered what she hoped came off as a sympathetic wince, and not a look of utter betrayal that her so-called friends had deserted her in favour of leaving the two of them in his car, alone. “Maybe Kay will have brought one?”

“Too much to hope for.” Cassian shook his head. “He normally makes it a point to remind _me_ a hundred times because he doesn’t like taking his set everywhere and- hey, where did everyone go?”

“They, uh.” Jyn made a show of rolling her eyes. “I think they thought it’d be funny to just leave us here, like. A prank.”

He raised an eyebrow, incredulous. “Seriously?” 

“Yeah. Bunch of middle-schoolers.” Jyn waved it off. 

They got out of the car and started making their way across the gravel. The space was dark except for the illumination of windows on nearby buildings and a single solitary streetlight after they left the parking lot. Han’s flat complex was a short walk from here, and in the distance Jyn could see the group of Leia and the rest of her traitorous friends in animated interaction with each other save for the brooding silhouette of Kay. 

The wind was chilly, but mild enough to be pleasant. The streets were relatively quiet, and a couple of vintage Minis were parked along the sidewalk, probably the property of Han’s wealthier neighbours. 

Cassian walked closer to her than was really necessary, in the same manner they always operated. It was an unconscious move and nothing about it felt unnatural. And, if their fingers occasionally brushed- she wasn’t going to complain. 

“So, about NYCC.” Cassian cleared his throat. “Does Bodhi plan on going, too? I can get tickets for all of us, do the booking and everything because it’s easier if one person handles all of that. Just, uh. Just let me know?” 

“Bodhi is...probably not going.” She shrugged, feigning nonchalance through the lie. Bodhi would most definitely want to tag along, be her wingman or something, but she absolutely did not need any assistance from those quarters. He would keep on relentlessly teasing her and besides, she wanted to have some time alone with Cassian. And see where it went.

A flush creeped to her cheeks at the unbidden thought. Dammit, now was _not_ a good time.  

“Oh. That’s…” He craned his neck awkwardly. “Okay. Cool.” 

They walked the rest of the way in a stilted kind of silence, like they felt some kind of turn in their relationship on the horizon. It was the electric tension that sometimes settled between them, when there were no movies or books to talk about; when it was just the two of them, and no distractions from the way they felt.

Well. _If_ he felt that way, that is. Jyn knew in the back of her mind that getting her hopes up about this thing, however transparent it seemed, was a bad, bad idea. She could be reading into it too much. Maybe he didn’t view this the same way she did. Maybe the intensity of his gaze when he looked at her sometimes and the fact that he only seemed to truly smile around her was all just her imagination.  

As they made their way up the narrow steps to Han’s floor, shoulders pushed up against each other, Jyn decided she’d just see how the night played out- and if it really came down to it, get Leia’s opinion as well. 

Speaking of Leia. She’d already got into some argument or the other with Han, and they could be heard all the way down to the bottom of the stairs. The violent breach of the tense silence between them was more than welcome, and Cassian grinned at her and she smirked right back as they pushed the door open. 

Luke, wearing the strange combination of a murky, swamp-coloured knitted sweater with light blue jeans and rainbow sneakers, was attempting to pacify the situation.

“Guys, _guys_ , I’m sure you’re both correct, and does it really matter? It doesn’t, does it? Come on, let’s drop these old issues and have some fun.”

“ _Old issues!_ ” hissed Han. “If it was such an old issue then why would her Ladyship bring it up in the first place?”

“I just asked you a question, jerk!” shouted Leia. 

“She kind of did,” Luke pointed out dryly.

“It was a passive-aggressive question! That I did not want to hear!”

“Children, calm the fuck down,” Shara called from the living room couch, where she was already snuggled comfortably with Kes, who’d arrived earlier after work.

Cassian followed Jyn wordlessly as she stepped around the Big Fight and they found themselves in the air-conditioned living room with the others, every light switched on and four bags of crisps already open and being passed across the floor. Hera and her fiancé had claimed one of the beanbags, Sabine seated on the fluffy carpet beside them, Bodhi had spread himself across two smaller beanbags and Kay was civilly seated on a straight-backed chair beside the couch. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” Hera greeted Jyn as she nudged Bodhi with her foot, urging him to stop being a selfish prick and give her room. “Have you met Kanan?” 

“Once, I think,” answered Jyn, resorting to dropping her weight on Bodhi’s knees, which was received with a yelp of pain. “Nice to meet you, though.”

“You as well,” said Kanan politely, with all the poise of someone who had clearly never been to one of their chaotic movie nights. His eyes flickered to Cassian, who’d been standing by her side the entire time. “And you are...Jyn’s boyfriend?”

Bodhi burst out laughing at the same time Jyn startled and Cassian’s eyes widened. 

“We’re not, uh…”

“He’s not my…” 

Hera rolled her eyes, poking her fiancé in the arm. “No, love, the couple is Kes and Shara, and I _introduced_ you before.”  

“Oh.” Kanan offered an apologetic smile at them. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” Cassian shrugged, feigning nonchalance. He instinctively went to sit beside Jyn, but paused, because he did not need to give more people _that_ idea. He wanted to sit with Jyn, and she probably wouldn’t mind it either, but Bodhi was peering up at him curiously and Kes was shooting a maniacal grin his way, so he crossed the floor and went to sit in the empty space beside Kes, also next to where Kay was seated in his stiff chair borrowed from the kitchen.  

He probably just imagined the flash of disappointment that crossed Jyn’s face when he took his place, but there was nothing he could do about it now. 

Kes leaned closer to him the moment she turned to talk to Bodhi. 

“Coward,” he whispered.

“ _Joder_ _tu,”_ Cassian muttered back at him, earning a chuckle.  

Just after Kes had redirected his attention to Shara, though, Kay leaned in over the armrest of the sofa. 

“You asked Jyn Erso out on a date.” 

Cassian stiffened, because his roommate wasn’t exactly being quiet. “ _Keep it down,_ for heaven’s sake! And it wasn’t a date.”

“Perhaps not by conventional definitions,” Kay went on crisply as if he hadn’t been shushed. “But you asked to go out with her, to an event, without the company of anyone else, and don’t think that I am not aware that you rehearsed how you would present the question approximately ten times before we set out today.”

Cassian coughed. “How do you-” 

“I heard your rehearsals, obviously. For the record, I am glad that you didn’t go with _‘I’ve wanted to hang out with you alone in a geek-friendly environment for a really long time’_. The phrasing was stilted and awkward. Were I in Jyn’s place I would have not responded positively to that one.”

“Oh my God.” He closed his eyes, pinching the space between his brows when he felt a headache come on. “Shut up, Kay. What’s your point?”

“My _point_ is that two days ago, you were worried that Jyn already has a boyfriend. What happened to him? Or rather, what happened to that concern? You are exactly the type of person to back away from her and completely give up trying if you found out she has a boyfriend. Were your suspicions proven wrong?”

“The thing is…” Cassian sighed, shaking his head. He did a quick look around to see if anyone was paying attention to them before lowering his voice for only Kay to hear. “I don’t know that for sure. It’s just...a guess. Not a very strong guess, either, after I considered everything, and I figured...well, I could ask, and she’d say no if she didn’t want to go with me, wouldn’t she?”

“She may have consented to going with you in your capacity as platonic friends,” Kay notified him unhelpfully. 

“I know. I know, Kay, but we’ll just have to wait and see, okay?” 

His roommate’s response was cut short with the familiar dreaded sound of an A/C turning on. 

“No,” Kes whispered in horror. “He didn't.” 

Han climbed down from the chair he'd used to reach the main switch of his air conditioner, having lost the remote a long time ago. The ancient freezer box had been set to an abysmally low temperature when the remote had gone missing, which meant it was stuck on that setting forever. Han was never generous enough to turn it off entirely either.

“Why did everyone go all quiet?” Kanan whispered to Hera. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” she sighed, clasping his hand in both of hers. “Just roll your sleeves all the way down and pray that the power goes out.”

* * *

 

 **Private Chat: Kanan, Hera**  

 **Hera:** Hey

 **Hera:** When do you think we should tell them?

 **Kanan:** After the movie maybe?

 **Kanan:** God it's so cold

 **Kanan:** You're literally seated right next to me why can't we talk in person?

 **Hera:** Some people get cranky when people start having conversations in the middle of movies

 **Kanan:** No one's even WATCHING the movie

 **Kanan:** Whose idea was Chucky, anyway?

 **Hera:** Movie night host gets to pick.

 **Kanan:** I think you should try out a more democratic system

 **Hera:** Haha

 **Hera:** So, to answer my question?

 **Kanan:** I don't know

 **Kanan:** Let's tell them after the movie

 **Hera:** Nervous? ;)

 **Kanan:** Very funny.

 **Hera:** I knew it!

 **Kanan:** Only because I don't know everyone so well!

 **Kanan:** Speaking of which

 **Kanan:** Where’s Sabine?

 **Hera:** Don't think I didn't notice how you changed the topic, love.

 **Hera:** She went somewhere with Jyn?

 **Hera:** Normally they ransack the fridge when the movie gets boring, and come back with snacks that no one else is allowed to touch.

 **Kanan:** Clever.

 **Kanan:** Can we go ransack the fridge as well? This stupid AC is making me hungry.

 

Hera cast a discreet glance at where Han had cozied up snugly beside Leia, who was actually paying attention to what was going on on-screen but not out of being impressed with the quality of horror. She rather looked keen on studying every aspect of the movie so she could give it a merciless critique later on. 

Hera pecked her fiancé lightly on the cheek. _Sure,_ she mouthed. _Let’s go._

They were careful, incredibly so, in extracting themselves from the big green beanbag Han took out exclusively on movie nights, and snuck out of the living room without making a sound. If Han noticed, he was too enraptured by the woman at his side and his favourite horror classic to say anything. 

Hera, Kanan found out, was in no hurry to stuff herself with whatever morsels Han’s fridge offered. 

“ _Hey,_ ” he protested half-heartedly as she pushed him against the wall and crushed her lips to his. He quickly dissolved into a grin that was so wide it almost hurt, before enthusiastically wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning down to meet her better.

“Demonic A/C made me cold,” Hera muttered, a light in her eyes. “Warm me up?”

Kanan barked a quiet laugh. “Demonic A/C?”

“It’s possessed, like half the things he owns.” She ran her fingers through his hair to pull him to her again. “Let’s go outside.” 

“Ah, outside…” Kanan winced. “I think, ah, Kes and Shara already got that place to themselves.” 

“Damn.” Hera smiled nevertheless, and it was a soft smile, so in contrast with the heat of the moment, but _dear god,_ he was so in love with her.

“Hey.” She rested her hand lightly against his chest, in the small space between them. “What’re you thinking?”

“Nothing.” He reached back to tuck a stray lock of green hair behind her ear. “I’m just lucky to have you.” 

“ _Flatterer._ ” 

He laughed as she leaned up to meet him again, catching his lips with a mischievous kind of enthusiasm that made the blood in his veins sing.

They were in one of the furthest stages of making out (his hands snaking up her ribs from under her shirt, her mouth suckling marks on his neck and her knee pushed insistently between his legs) when Sabine and Jyn made the unfortunate decision to return to the movie, carrying a couple of milk cartons and cereal boxes between them. Jyn startled, clutching the the boxes close to her chest, but Sabine dropped them with a _thud_ that snapped the couple out of their private haze.  

They broke apart, looking as mortified as anyone in their situation would. 

“Uh- sorry. Let's go,” muttered Jyn, rushing through the safe arch of the doorway. Sabine smiled at them embarrassedly, then resolutely avoided any eye contact as she hurriedly picked up the cereal box and followed suite. 

Kanan and Hera watched her go, feeling very much like a pair of people caught red-handed doing something illegal. 

Hera cleared her throat after a moment of silence. “Well. That was awkward.”

“They did not have to see that,” agreed Kanan sheepishly.

“This is...what, the fourth time it's happened to Sabine?”

“Third, I think. She generally has better luck than Ezra.” 

Hera groaned. “Don't remind me. Everyone has better luck than Ezra, in general.”

“Yeah.” He moved to fix what he could of his rumbled clothes. “I really miss him, though. I don't miss Zeb or Chop, but I miss him.” 

Hera placed a light hand on his forearm. “We'll see them all at the wedding.”

Kanan nodded, then linked his arm through hers. “Do you want to go to the kitchen now? We have something to plan, you know.” 

His fiance smirked. “So you _are_ nervous.”

“Why would I be nervous? They already know we're engaged.” 

“Yeah, you're nervous.” She bumped his shoulder with hers. “Come on, let's go and see if they left any cereal for us.”

 

 

“So apparently,” Jyn knocked Bodhi’s knee, drawing his attention to the not-couple sitting at the other end of the room. “Everyone except Han is bored to death with this movie.” 

“Yeah. I guess.” Bodhi shifted his eyes away from the screen, and Jyn could tell that he’d been very far from _bored_. She’d even hazard a guess that he was a little scared, judging by the way he’d been gripping Luke’s sleeve. “It’s not that boring, though.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Everyone’s seen it before. I told Han we should watch a Christopher Nolan movie, but it probably wouldn’t help him get laid because Leia wouldn’t get bored.” 

From Bodhi’s side, Luke turned wide, horrified eyes on her. “Please do not continue that thought.” 

She bit back a laugh. “Hey, I’m just saying. Kes and Shara are doing stuff in their car, in the parking lot, and we just caught Hera and Kanan, too. And if _Hera’s_ up for doing anything in public, it can only mean that that stupid A/C is really good at setting the mood.”

Luke grabbed her box of cereal and straight up drank some from the box. He started crunching loudly, turning his attention back to the movie, which was honestly the most passive-aggressive _Luke_ thing anybody could do. 

Han hissed at him to stop crunching so loudly, and he immediately swallowed it down. Jyn couldn’t prevent him from sweeping the last of her chocolate milk either.

“Well, _I’m_ not in the mood,” said Bodhi decisively. “That doll is freaking me out. Why does it turn its head like that? And what the hell is up with the squeaky shoes?”

“It’s a doll. A doll, Bodhi.” Jyn sighed, sinking into her beanbag. “Why is this boring? Movie nights are never boring. Especially Han’s ones.” 

“I’m with you there,” agreed Luke. “Hey, what are Kay and Cassian working on? Is that some kind of project?” 

“Kay’s thesis. Cassian is asleep.”

Bodhi chanced a quick look behind them, and sure enough, Cassian didn’t appear to be actively involved in anything. He was probably not fully asleep, but he certainly didn’t look enthralled with Chucky’s blood-splattered dungarees, either. “Looks like the A/C failed to set the mood for someone else as well.” 

“Oh, shut up.” Jyn punched him in the shoulder.

Bodhi chose then to drop his investment in the movie, finally seeming to realise he now had the perfect opportunity for grilling her. “You should go wake him up and ask if he’s interested in some good-old-”

“Oh my god, can we _not?_ ” Luke exclaimed, righteously scandalised. Han hissed at him from across the room and he ducked his head conspicuously toward the two of them. “I don’t want to hear about who’s doing who when everyone you’re talking about is around the corner. It’s _weird._ ” 

Bodhi chortled indignantly. “I wasn’t talking about anyone doing anything! Just offering a suggestion!” 

“That’s even worse!” 

“Is nobody watching the movie?” Han shouted from his comfortable perch. He’d actually straightened up a little, to glare at them. “You guys suck. Here we have a horror classic, a brilliant piece of cinema with the most grisly murders of its time, and you lot aren’t even paying attention.”

Leia lifted her head then, looking every bit the unimpressed audience as she raised an eyebrow at him. “I am horrified. Out of my skin. By the fact that you seriously think this is a good movie.” 

Han bristled. “Well excuse me, Princess-” 

Luke waved his arms widely. “Woah, _time out!”_  

“Whatever,” grumbled Han, settling back beside Leia, who looked aggressive and less than thrilled but didn't consciously protest. 

“Maybe you have a point,” murmured Luke thoughtfully. “He needs to get laid. But can we _please_ not bring my sister into this?”  

“You're too protective,” snickered Bodhi. “You should be more like me, always rooting for _my_ sister to get laid.”

Jyn treated him to a poisonous look. “Zark off.” 

The movie eventually drew to its bloody (“And stupid,” Leia offered) conclusion, marking the end of the demonic A/C’s reign because it was only when the movie ended that Han got enough of a bearing of his surroundings that he realised it was too cold. He returned after turning the air conditioner off, almost earning applause from everyone else, and because Leia had by then reclaimed the entire couch to herself, he was left standing somewhat awkwardly without a place to sit.

“Well, that was a good movie,” announced Han triumphantly from the middle of the living room instead. “Didn't I tell you it was going to be good?”

“Mm, yeah.” Cassian blinked himself awake. “Couldn't have spent my Friday night better.”

“ _I_ could have,” raised Kay sullenly, from behind the sofa. “ _Curse of Chucky_ is a vastly overrated horror flick, not to mention one I'm certain everyone in this room excluding myself have seen countless times.”

“ _Excluding_ you?”

“I do not watch movies that don't have a critic's score above seventy-five and simultaneously an audience score above seventy on Rotten Tomatoes.” 

“He doesn't watch a lot of movies,” Cassian translated.

Han rolled his eyes. “That's a good justification for bad taste. And where did Kes and Shara go?”

“Parking lot,” hollered Bodhi delightedly. 

Han looked confused. “Why would they go there?” 

“Because your A/C set the mood for- mmph!” 

Luke smiled from beside him, where he'd clamped a hand over his friend’s mouth.

“I'll give them a call and tell them the movie’s finished.”

“Good, you do that.” Han clapped his hands together. “Because Hera and Kanan have some good news for the lot of you, which means everyone needs to be in this room.” 

Hera smiled meaningfully at her fiance, taking his hand again. “Yeah. Some news.” 

Sabine’s eyes widened. “Oh my God. You're having a baby.”

“What? No!” Kanan looked incredulous. “ _Why_ was that the first thing that occurred to you?”

“Hey, when you told me you had something to tell everyone, that's what I thought, too,” Han pointed out. 

“But _why.”_

“Well, it definitely wasn't an engagement announcement, because everyone already knows that.”

“Wait. Oh my God.” Leia sat up straighter. “It's the wedding, isn't it? You're going to tell us when the wedding is!” 

Hera winked at her. “Perceptive as always, honey.”

“The _wedding,”_ gaped Sabine. The brightest of grins spread on her face, her eyes lighting up. “Hera! Did you _really_ have to keep quiet about it for so long? This is the most important day of my _life._ Do we have enough time to get plane tickets or whatever? Where are you having it? Oh my gosh, we need to tell Ezra. Does Ezra even _know_ this is happening?”  

“Well, not yet,” admitted Kanan, trying to keep up with the questions. “But we'll tell Ezra just about as soon as we’re done telling you now.” 

“No need for that,” said Han, holding up his phone. “I made sure I got him online. You're welcome.” 

On screen, a boy with dark hair and a broad smile waved at them energetically. “Hi, guys!”

Bodhi, Luke and Sabine were immediately right in front of the screen, exclaiming greetings as one. Han winced as the reunion too close to his ears got a little loud, surrendering his phone without protest to Sabine, who had the presence of mind to actually pass the screen over to Kanan and Hera. 

“Han said you have news!” came Ezra’s excited voice from the speakers. “Are you having a baby? Please tell me you're having a baby!”

“What is _up_ with that,” groaned Kanan, but Hera only shook her head.

“No, that's not it, Ezra. Take another guess?” 

“You're...getting engaged?” Ezra looked puzzled. “But you're already engaged. You're getting double-engaged?”

“ _Laserbrain_ _,”_ sighed Sabine.

Kes and Shara walked in then, having responded to Luke’s call and wondering at the commotion now. 

“What's going on?” asked Kes. “Did something happen?”

“Is that _Kes?”_ Ezra squealed. “Can I say hi?”

Hera shook her head fondly, before passing the phone to Cassian, who was waiting.

“ _CAPTAIN!_ ” shouted Ezra happily. “You're here too!”  

“I still have no idea why you call me that,” said Cassian.

“Hey, let me talk to him,” Jyn reached for the phone.

“Who was that? Leia? Jyn?” 

Cassian met Jyn’s eyes with a wicked look. “Leia. Here you go.” 

“What- _jerk,”_ she bit back a laugh as he passed Ezra over to Leia instead, who was gracious enough to let her, Cassian, Kes and Shara look over her shoulder into the screen so Ezra could see all of them.  

“Hi, kid,” greeted Kes. “You look like a bad Internet connection.”

“Says the piece of ass who _never_ FaceTimes,” Ezra bit back.

“Speaking of FaceTime,” interrupted Han pointedly. “I don't have WiFi at the moment, and that call is costing me a lot of mobile data. Can we all stop pretending we've forgotten what the kid’s face looks like and get on with it? Please? I'm going to need a loan to cover up the cost.”

Leia glared. “Oh, shut up.” 

“No, he's right.” Ezra laughed sheepishly. “I'm also, uh. Also on mobile data. And yeah, I need to hear this _news_ before one of us loses connection.”

“Okay, okay,” Leia handed the phone back to Han. “Go on, then. Tell us about the wedding.” 

“The _wedding,”_ exclaimed Ezra, the penny finally dropping. “Ohh. So _that's_ what it's about.”  

Sabine remained unimpressed. “Like I said. Laserbrain.”

Han leaned his phone back against the TV screen to give Ezra a good enough view of the living room while he settled on the floor beside Luke.

Hera squeezed her fiancé’s hand once, reassuringly, before turning to face their audience.

“So, obviously, you're all invited for the wedding.” 

On screen, Ezra went _“Yess!”_ like this was new information.  

“We want to have it three months from now,” said Kanan. “And we'll _most probably_ have it in California, close to our old residence. Which is where you lived with us, Ezra, Sabine.”  

“ _Wow,”_ Sabine covered her smile with a hand, because there was no other way she could keep it down. “Really?”  

“It's a special place,” Hera shrugged. “Most meaningful venue we could think of.”

Ezra raised a hand. “Are Chopper and Zeb invited?”

Kanan raised an eyebrow. “What kind of question is that? Of course they are.”

“Dang it,” muttered Ezra.

“You want them there. I can tell.” 

“I do not! They’re annoying!”

“You love them,” said Hera primly. “And so do we, and we want every one of you at our wedding. No RSVPs, either. We’re giving you enough advance notice.” 

“I wouldn’t miss your wedding for anything in the world,” said Shara. “Also, it’s going to be _so fun_. Have you picked a bridesmaid?”

“Um. About that.” Hera awkwardly craned her neck. “We haven’t thought about that, yet.”

“ _You_ haven’t thought about it,” pointed Kanan innocently. “I’ve already picked a best man and a ring bearer.”

“I’m the best man!” crowed Ezra. “Well, I have to be, right? I’m a better choice than _Zeb.”_

“Oh no.” Sabine crossed her arms. “If _he_ gets to be best man-”  

“You’ll be my Maid of Honour,” promised Hera. “Okay? And you guys can be my bridesmaids. Or flower girls. Or whatever it is they have at weddings these days.” 

“Yes!” exclaimed Leia, fist-pumping the air. “Brilliant!” 

“We promise to be the best side-chicks ever,” said Jyn solemnly. “We do.” 

“But I _am_ your best man?” Ezra ventured carefully.

“Yes, kid.” Kanan shook his head. “Who did you think it was, Zeb?”   

“He wanted Zeb too,” Hera whispered loudly. “And Chopper for ring-bearer.” 

“Look, there’s no reason I can’t have more than one best man! You get half a dozen bridesmaids.”

“Can I be the wedding bouncer?” asked Han.

“Weddings don’t have _bouncers,_ ” Leia shot him a look.

“Well, yours can have one. So everything goes smoothly. I’ll keep the drunk uncles out.”

“We’d be honoured,” Kanan assured him.

“See? He believes in wedding bouncers. You and I are going to get along great, Kanan.”

Sabine stood up from her spot on the rug, looking back and forth between Kanan and Hera. “I’m going to hug you both now. It seems appropriate for the occasion.”

Hera laughed and opened her arms for Sabine at the same moment Ezra started complaining that he couldn’t do that because he lived three states over.

 

When Hera and Kanan took the train back home that night (and this time, the correct train), she let her head rest of his shoulder, feeling a good kind of tired, and a lot of contentment that made it difficult to stop smiling, no matter how many strange looks they got from everyone else taking the subway.

“That went well, don’t you think?” Kanan asked as he unlocked the front door to their house.

“It’s the first step out of the way,” she agreed with a kiss to his cheek. “But now, you and I have a real big wedding to plan.”

 


	8. The Sephora Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke follows Kes’s instructions, Hera sponsors her side-chicks, and Cassian has the single worst experience a man could possibly have in a makeup store.

**8:00 pm**

**Private Chat: Luke, Leia**

**Luke:** leiiiiiaaa

 **Luke:** Lay’s

 **Luke:**  can I ask you something?

 **Luke:**  actually I’m asking for a friend

 **Leia:**  Sure, shoot.

 **Leia:**  And stop calling me that

 **Luke:** Lay’s are the best

 **Luke:**  anyway, what’s a good place to buy jewllweh

 **Luke:**  *jewellery

 **Luke:**??

 **Leia:** Jewellery? What kind?

 **Luke:** expensive stuff preferably

 **Luke:** like wedding rings

 **Leia:** Oh

 **Leia:** Wait, who’s asking?

 **Luke:** can’t sayyy

 **Leia:** What do you mean you can’t say?

 **Leia:** Come on.

 **Leia:** Please?

 **Luke:** nope I was Forbidden ™

 **Leia:** It’s someone we know, isn’t it?

 **Leia:** Is it Kes?

 **Leia:** HE'S GOING TO PROPOSE TO SHARA?

 **Luke:**  no

 **Luke:** no it’s not kes

 **Luke:** but like, good guess

 **Luke:**  but it’s not him

 **Luke:**  he’s not planning on proposing any time soon

 **Leia:** Well, then who is it? Come on.

 **Leia:** I won’t tell the girl, I promise.

 **Luke:** do you solemnly swear upon your blood that you will not tell the girl

 **Luke:** if you know her that is

 **Luke:**  i don’t think you know her

 **Leia:** Ugh just tell me already!

 **Luke:** ok ok

 **Luke:** it’s cassian

 **Luke:**  but no one hears a word about this, ok?

 **Leia:**  Holy shit.

 **Leia:** Cassian?

 **Leia:** Are you serious?

 **Luke:** you promised on your blood!

 **Leia:**  Alright I WON’T tell the girl, okay? I don’t even know who she is!

 **Leia:** I didn’t even know he was in a relationship!

 **Luke:**  well

 **Luke:** he’s a private guy

 **Luke:**  so what’s a good place for a wedding ring?

 **Leia:** Give me a sec, I’ll brb. 

 

 

 

 

> **Private Chat: Jyn, Leia**
> 
> **Leia:** JYN
> 
> **Leia:** GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW
> 
> **Leia:**  CODE FUCKING RED
> 
> **Leia:** This is serious
> 
> **Leia:** You’ve got to hear this

 

 **Leia:** I’ll send you a few location pins.

 **Leia:** These are the best jewellers I’ve heard of, anyway.

 **Luke:** thanks Lay’s

 **Leia:** You’re the worst.

 **Luke:**  ily<33

 

 ** **Jyn:****  Why who died?

 **Leia:**  That is NOT what a code red situation means.

 ** **Jyn:**** idk sounds pretty serious to me

 ** **Jyn:**** But I’m concerned now, what happened?

 **Leia:** So

 **Leia:** Luke just texted me

 **Leia:**  I’m gonna cut right to the chase here.

 **Leia:** Cassian is seeing someone.

 ** **Jyn:****  What?

 **Leia:** And apparently he’s thinking of proposing because he asked Luke to ask me where he can find wedding rings.

 ** **Jyn:**** Wait wtf

 ** **Jyn:**** you’re joking, right?

 **Leia:**  I’m not, Jyn.

 **Leia:** It just happened.

 ** **Jyn:**** send proof.

 **Leia:** Okay.

 **Leia:**  [IMAGE]

 **Leia:** [IMAGE]

 **Leia:** Lukesaid we don’t know the girl.

 ** **Jyn:**** Not possible

 ** **Jyn:****  I mean yeah he’s a private person and all but there’s no way he hid a serious fucking relationship from everyone all this time

 ** **Jyn:**** also Kay would’ve given it away at some point

 **Leia:** Are you sure?

 ** **Jyn:**** Of course I am

 ** **Jyn:**** It can’t be, Leia. maybe Kes is the one who asked.

 **Leia:** Well, Luke told me it wasn’t, but then again Luke would lie to protect Kes from getting found out.

 **Leia:** Okay.

 **Leia:** I think that clears it up.

 ** **Jyn:**** yeah duh

 ** **Jyn:****  ngl, you scared me for a moment there

 **Leia:** Sorry!

 **Leia:** I freaked out a little too.

 **Leia:** But what you said makes a lot of sense.

 ** **Jyn:****  I think we can safely proceed under the assumption that it's not too late for me to shoot my shot

 **Leia:** Well, this little scare is a reminder at least.

 **Leia:** You’ve got to “shoot your shot” soon.

 **Leia:** It’s a miracle someone like Cassian has stayed single for so long, but it’s not going to last forever.

 ** **Jyn:**** Crap I forgot to tell you

 ** **Jyn:**** I may or may not have got asked out last night

 ** **Jyn:**** *gotten?

 ** **Jyn:****  I think it’s got

 **Leia:** WHAT?? SPILL!

 ** **Jyn:**** So bodhi’s car broke down before we started for han’s place

 ** **Jyn:**** and we hitched a ride with cassian

 **Leia:**  I know that bit WHAT NEXT?

 ** **Jyn:****  I don’t know if he asked me out it’s just a possibility

 **Leia:**  Well tell me the details so I can break them down and FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOU, HONEY

 ** **Jyn**** : idk

 ** **Jyn:****  We were talking about DC and some books we’ve both read then he randomly asked me if I’m going to nycc this year

 ** **Jyn:**** that’s comic con btw

 **Leia:** : I KNOW, Jyn, I’m not stupid.

 ** **Jyn:****  he kind of said he wants to go together.

 ** **Jyn:****  but because Luke and Kes weren’t free

 **Leia:** Oh. My. God.

 **Leia:** It’s a date.

 ** **Jyn:****  how do you know?

 **Leia:**  Easy. Because Luke is definitely going this year.

 ** **Jyn:****  Fuck

 ** **Jyn:**** He is?

 **Leia:** YES. He hasn’t been able to shut up about it since he got his tickets!

 **Leia:** But until recently he didn’t think he’d get to go?

 **Leia:** There’s a chance that that’s when Cassian asked him.

 ** **Jyn:**** you’re terrible at this analysis job

 **Leia:** What were the other clues? 

 ** **Jyn:**** clues??

 **Jyn:** I don't know!

 **Leia:** Did he look nervous when he asked?

 ** **Jyn:**** Tbh I was too busy being nervous myself that I did not notice

 **Leia:**  Ughh

 **Leia:**  Was he awkward about it in any other way?

 ** **Jyn:**** again, did NOT notice.

 **Leia:**  You’re making this really difficult.

 **Jyn:**  excuse me, when you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship you don’t ask which seat and so forth

 **Leia:** Pretty sure you stole that from somewhere.

 ** **Jyn:**** tumblr

 ** **Jyn:**** Besides the point.

 **Leia:** Did he want it to be just the two of you? 

 ** **Jyn:****  I wanted it to be just the two of us

 ** **Jyn:**** He asked about bodhi but I said no on his behalf

 ** **Jyn:**** Gosh will that make things awkward?

 **Leia:**  You two are almost best friends. He’s your best friend after me and Bodhi. I don’t think it can be awkward, you get along just fine. 

 ** **Jyn:**** it’ll be hella awkward if I like him but he’s not on the same wavelength

 **Leia:**  I’m sure he does.

 **Leia:** I wouldn’t ask Han to come with me to comic con if I wasn’t crazy over him

 **Leia:**  Which I’m not, mind you.

 **Leia:**  That’s not the point.

 ** **Jyn:**** Hmm.

 ** **Jyn:**** We’ll just have to wait and see, I guess.

 ** **Jyn:**** This could be nothing

 **Leia:** But it could also be him asking you out because you’re both massive nerds and a comic con is the most romantic setting he could think of.

 ** **Jyn:**** Oh zark off

 **Leia:** I’m serious! 

 ** **Jyn:**** You’re coming for the thing tomorrow, right?

 **Leia:**  Yess.

 **Leia:** I can’t wait!

 ** **Jyn:**** What's on the agenda?

 **Leia:** Manicures for everyone, fish reflexology

 **Jyn:** I am not going to let my toes be bitten off by fish

 **Leia:**  Buzzkill. It’s harmless.

 **Leia:** We’re also going window-shopping and spoiling ourselves a bit.

 **Leia:**  And, if we’re feeling really adventurous, also dragging Hera into a lingerie store.

 ** **Jyn:**** now THAT’S a brilliant idea

 ** **Jyn:****  I have an item to add to the list

 **Jyn:** McDonald’s

 ** **Jyn:**** no day outing is complete without junk food

 **Leia:** I was actually thinking healthy stuff so we could actually fit into the clothes we buy.

 ** **Jyn:**** you’re buying clothes. I’m buying a Big Boss grilled chicken-n-cheese burger.

 **Leia:** Well. It’s your cash.

 **Leia:** But can you please dress nice for tomorrow?

 ** **Jyn:**** girlfriend I already have my outfit planned.

 **Leia:**  Please tell me it’s the crop top I gave you. Please.

 ** **Jyn:**** it’s better

 ** **Jyn:**** it’s my Spoderman t-shirt 

 ** **Jyn:**** you know, the meme spiderman? like the weird guy with the distorted face?

 **Leia:**  What did I do to deserve this.

 ** **Jyn:**** excuse me, I LOVE that shirt! It’s the funniest frigging thing on the planet.

 ** **Jyn:**** it has the spider pig song at the back

 **Leia:** Where do you even find such atrocious clothing?

 ** **Jyn:**** spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does

 ** **Jyn:**** can he swing from a web? no he can’t, he’s a pig

 ** **Jyn:**** look out he is spider pig!!!

 **Leia:** Goodnight, Jyn. 

 ** **Jyn:**** so mean

 ** **Jyn:**** I hope spoderman haunts your dreams

 **Leia:**  You are such a weirdo

 **Leia:**  I guess I love you.

 ** **Jyn:**** you too, girlfran 

 ** **Jyn:**** I change my wish 

 ** **Jyn:**** May the great lord spoderman bless you always.

 **Leia:** Goodnight, you terribly dressed human being. 

 **Jyn:** Night, gorgeous!

**9:30 pm**

**Private Chat: Kes, Cassian**

**Kes:** Andor get your ass here right now

 **Kes:** I need a favour

 **Cassian:** Yes?

 **Kes:** ok you agreed good.

 **Cassian:** That was not agreement.

 **Kes:** sHhhHh

 **Kes:** Look, are you free tomorrow morning?

 **Cassian:** Yes.

 **Kes:** OK I need a big, BIG favour

 **Cassian:** So you said, eight lines ago.

 **Kes:** agsishdjd

 **Kes:** So Kanan  & Hera’s wedding thing

 **Kes:** has me freaked out

 **Kes:** because they're actual ppl actually getting married

 **Kes:** and it reminded me

 **Kes:** I need to get shara’s ring

 **Kes:** SOON

 **Kes:** I just asked Luke to get jewellery places recommendations from Leia

 **Kes:** But I want to check out sephora first, cause it’s supposed to be really good yeah? If we find anything there Luke wouldn't even have to ask Leia and risk making them suspicious.

 **Cassian:** Didn't you say that the attendants there know Shara too well?

 **Kes:** I know she goes to a sephora closer to our place but you said there were other branches

 **Kes:** Can we check out one of those tomorrow?

 **Cassian:** I can tag along, Kes, but I can't promise I'll be of much help. I don't know the first thing about rings.

 **Kes:** ik but like MORAL SUPPORT

 **Cassian:** Well alright.

 **Cassian:** Tomorrow morning at what time?

 **Kes:** like 10 or something?

 **Cassian:** Should be fine.

 **Kes:** !!! Thank you!

 **Kes:** ♡♡♡♡

 **Cassian:** Anytime.

 **Cassian:** Are you sure Shara won't get to know where you're going?

 **Kes:** I've told her I have an interview. Anyway, she's going to Hera’s place or something.

 **Cassian:** Good. It'd be problematic if we happened to run into her on this trip.

 **Kes:** Yeah you're telling me this is legit like a secret mission, I never usually lie to her so much

 **Kes:** So I'll come pick you up 9.30?

 **Cassian:** Sounds good.

 **Kes:** Awesome

 **Kes:** also this doesn't need to be said but DON'T TELL ANYONE

 **Kes:** Not even Jyn, she's really close to Shara

 **Cassian:** What do you take me for? Of course I won't tell.

 **Kes:** I know, but you go from the world's most talented liar to a total ammature at lying when it comes to Jyn

 **Kes:** I can't believe you've hid your crush on her for so long successfully from everyone

 **Cassian:** Ugh

 **Cassian:** How many times do I need to tell you, it's not a crush.

 **Kes:** Hm you're right, that's too mild a term for being a total goner

 **Cassian:** Whatever.

 **Cassian:** Shut up.

 **Kes:** You love me.

 **Cassian:** I doubt it more every day.

 **Kes:** uwu :3

 **Cassian:** I'll see you tomorrow at 9.30.

 **Kes:** You didn't uwu me back!!

 **Cassian:** Goodnight, Kes.

 **Kes:** Where's the love man

 **Kes:** goodnight you stick in the mud

 **Kes:** may you have dreams of the person of your dreams ;)

 **Cassian:** Why are we friends

 **Cassian:** Wait. We're related. I never had a choice.

 **Kes:** UWU!!!!!!

 **Cassian:** sigh

 **Cassian:** uwu

 **Kes:** oh my God I am screenshotting this and framing it on my wall

 **Kes:** History was made tonight!

 **Cassian:** Can I go now? You'll have the whole of tomorrow morning to torment me in person.

 **Kes:** haha

 **Kes:** You are released, my servant.

 **Cassian:** Thank you.

 **Kes:** Sweet dreams best fran

 **Cassian:** I give up.

“No. No, no, no, _no._ ”

Jyn easily found her group of friends in a prime spot of the open food court by virtue of Sabine’s loud disagreement to something the others had suggested. She made her way over to them, exchanging a quick greeting with everyone, Sabine included, before promptly sitting herself down on Leia’s lap. Sabine went back to protesting.

“I did not sign up for this! And I told you- _I told you_ \- that I wasn't on board with it!”

“What's going on?” Jyn whispered to Leia.

Leia rolled her eyes. “Shara is trying to convince her she can't stand waiting outside the store while we help Hera find bridal lingerie.”

Jyn chortled. “Holy Zircon. And _Hera_ agreed to it?”

“I was just being gracious,” Hera pointed out, catching on. “I may just regret it a tiny amount now.”

“Oh, come on,” Shara chided. “It's not like you can ask your _fiancé_ for an opinion.”

Hera narrowed her eyes testily. “I could just go with my _gut_.”

“Guts aren’t safe enough for wedding night choices, honey,” Shara wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, causing Hera to exhaustedly palm her face.

“Also, Hera’s like a _mom_ to me. Or a big sister.” Sabine made a face. “I don’t want to see what she’s going to wear on her wedding night!”

Jyn snatched the cup of pink boba on the table in front of her, assuming it was Leia’s. “You know, Sab’s got a point.”

“Get your _own_ boba,” protested Leia. “You keep finishing mine saying you’re only tasting the flavours so you can buy one for yourself yet you never do.”

Jyn slurped up a significant fraction of the drink. “I haven’t found the right flavour yet.”

“ _Bullshit._ From your track record of finishing my drinks, everything is the right flavour.”

“Can we take a vote on this?” Hera interrupted, tapping at the table to get their attention. Once everyone had turned their heads, she clasped her hands together. “There’s no point voting on the lingerie thing, because there are three of you and two of us, but how about we all do some _regular_ shopping, spoil ourselves a bit?”

“Sounds good,” mumbled Jyn around the straw, and Leia made an annoyed noise but wrapped her arms around her friend’s waist, burying her nose in her hair.

“I agree,” she sighed.

“You guys are so fucking cute,” snickered Shara.

Sabine rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you act like this in front of Han and Cassian and expect them to think you’re interested in _them_.”

“You’re just jealous,” said Jyn, who’d now finished the drink in its entirety. “Leia and I have the purest form of friendship. Don’t we, Leia?”

“Oh, gosh, ew.” Leia pulled back, wrinkling her nose. “You used that bloody citrus shampoo again.”

Shara laughed so obnoxiously loudly that she drew stares from across the food court.

Hera rubbed her temples like it was the beginning of a headache, but the small smile twitching at the corner of her lips gave her away.

“ _Anyway,_ as I was saying,” she looked around at them pointedly. “We need to vote on what do first. We have a whole day, after all.”

“I vote we go for a movie,” Sabine piped up. “Movie, anyone?”

“Movie!” enthused Jyn. “We can go for the new Jordan Peele.”

“Uh, no. No movie,” Shara raised an eyebrow. “That’s three hours wasted, you guys. Also that’s not _hanging out._ ”

“I vote we all go buy ourselves clothes from all the places having Spring discounts,” said Leia, who side-eyed Jyn. “And not only because of the discounts.”

Jyn pouted. “Spoderman did _nothing_ to deserve your hate.”

“How can you walk around in public wearing that!”

“Ladies, calm down.” Hera rolled her eyes. “I propose neutral territory for the first item.”

“Lingerie stores are not neutral territory,” noted Sabine appreciatively, popping her chin in her hands.

“So, uh...neutral means something no one has suggested yet…” Hera looked around, her eyes scanning over the big brand names boasted by the mall. Clothes, furniture, sports goods, Bath&Bodyworks—

Triumphantly, she grinned and got to her feet, sweeping her side-bag and coffee-cup up with her as she did.

Hera dramatically flipped her sunglasses down over her eyes.

“Chin up, ladies. We’re going to Sephora.”

 

 

Kes pulled his gleaming Ford Mustang into the halfway-crowded parking lot of the Kyber Galleries mall, all the while inconspicuously looking around for familiar faces. Or rather, he thought he was being inconspicuous. His nerves at the idea of getting caught by Shara were almost tangible, and Cassian sighed.

“When you know your car is recognizable from a mile away, why didn’t you just bring me here in a cab?”

“Hey, I can’t think of everything!” protested Kes, unclipping his seatbelt.

“We need a cover story if we run into someone Shara knows,” said Cassian, ignoring him. “Something casual, unremarkable. What would we tell them?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” Kes rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re here for you? You need a new shirt or something?”

“We can say we’re just here for lunch. Completely unmemorable and, if Shara gets to know, believable. You usually drop in at my place when she’s not at home for lunch.”

“Huh. Who knew you were so smart.” Kes grinned. “Okay. Okay, okay. We’re going to do this. I’m pumped. We’re going to get a ring and I’m going to propose.”

Cassian clapped him encouragingly on the shoulder before they both got out of the car, and headed towards the direction of the mall entrance, stuffing their hands in their pockets as the wind blew a chilly streak. Kes was by this point positively vibrating with both nerves and excitement.

The mall was a big place, four stories tall with an open yard in the middle serving as a giant food court, so it was a while before they located a Sephora. Everyone they stopped to ask directions from looked momentarily surprised upon the inquiry, and honestly, this should’ve been the first sign that something wasn’t quite right, because how odd could it be that a guy was looking for a jewellery store that was supposed to sell expensive diamond rings?

But they did come across the store at last, on the third floor but visible probably to the entire building through the open space in the middle of it, and found themselves more than a little confused.

Cassian and Kes stared for an embarrassing amount of time at the model’s face with the pink background, dusting some kind of makeup brush on her cheeks.

“Uh, who recommended this place, again?”

Kes blinked. “Luke? I think it was Luke. But he sounded pretty sure.”

“Maybe it’s an accessory store.” Cassian looked up at the board again. “You know. Like an Aldo or something. We could still check it out.”

Kes snapped out of it, nodding wisely. “Yeah. No way Luke got a cosmetics store confused with a jewellery store, right? Didn’t he work part time at a cosmetics store?”

“I think that was Sabine,” admitted Cassian.

“Gosh dammit.” Kes faced the storefront with a hard look. “You know what, you’re right. We should still check it out. At the very worst it’s going to actually be a makeup store and we can tell Shara this story after the proposal and the girls will all laugh at us.”

Cassian caught himself imagining Jyn’s mirth at his own stupidity, and tucked the picture away before he could allow himself to appreciate it.

He followed Kes inside, feeling only a little self-conscious as he did. He didn’t care that the place was full of shelves of colourful cosmetics and advertisements featuring women predominantly, but it was just a little embarrassing when each pair of eyes they passed turned on them in confusion.

It took them a few more minutes of aimlessly wandering down the aisles to conclude that they weren’t going to find what they were searching for, and Cassian opened his mouth to propose that they leave before that very eager store assistant walked up to them offering help, but he was cut off by the sound of loud voices.

 _Familiar_ voices.

Kes panicked. It took more time for the reality of the situation to hit Cassian, but his cousin had thus far been on high-alert and accustomed enough to the sound of his girlfriend’s voice that he bolted on instinct.

_Where did he—_

Cassian looked around, hurriedly scanning every direction for Kes, but he was nowhere to be seen. The sound of the girls’ voices, however, was nearby, and his heart raced with the need to find a way out of this mess _now_.

The friendly assistant tittered over to him.

“Hello, sir. You seem to be new here! Is there anything specific you’re looking for?”

“Can you, uh…” Cassian desperately looked around the aisles. He wanted to ask for an alternative route out of the store, but he was pretty sure that would only result in weird looks and more time wasted. “Can you direct me to the men’s…” Shit, did this place cater to men? “I mean, the skincare products?”

“Of course.” The assistant beamed. “Two aisles over, you’ll find our full range of face-masks and other cleansing products.”

“Right. Thanks.” He turned around, keeping his head bowed. That information actually helped- the skincare essentials were located far away enough that he might not get spotted and close enough to the doors so he could slip through unnoticed. He hoped Kes had gotten away, because there was no way he could save both their hides at this stage.

He settled for a brisk walk, taking a corner sharply in the hopes of getting there faster, but he had to abruptly grind his feet to a halt when a flash of purple passed in front of him.

“Oh, sorry!”

“No, I’m sorry,” started Cassian, ready to brush it aside and continue on his way, but then he made the mistake of looking up.

Sabine stared at him, her jaw dropping open, and also dropping the multiple items she’d been holding onto.

He took an instinctive step back, brain working a hundred miles a minute to come up with a story explaining his presence here. Before Leia popped out of the aisle beside Sabine. Followed by a confused-looking Hera wondering what they were all gaping at. Followed by Shara, who just reared back and _stared_.

He held his palms up because he very much felt like someone caught in the act who was about to get arrested.

“I can explain.”

 _Shit,_ why did the most obvious, incriminating thing he could possibly say leave his mouth in this situation?

Then, as if things couldn’t possibly get worse, Jyn wandered over to her group of friends and a did a double-take when she spotted him.

“ _Cassian?_ ”

He turned to her, trying to ignore everyone else’s stares. Jyn he could communicate with best, or at least he could crack a joke and distract them, but he had to pause again when he noticed what Jyn had on.

 _Why the everloving_ Spock _did she have to look so damn cute today?_

“Yeah, so, this is awkward,” he stuttered out at last, trying to ignore the adorable scrunch on the bridge of Jyn’s nose. “But I wanted, uh. A face-mask. You know, for your...for your skin.”

It only took a second for Leia’s expression to shift from confused and suspicious to total comprehension. “ _Ohh._ Well, sorry then.” She laughed, almost sheepishly. “It’s just weird to run into you here of all places, but that makes a lot of sense.”

_You can play this. This is a good line._

“I guess you stumbled on my secret, then,” he offered them an embarrassed smile, though he certainly didn’t have to forge embarrassment. “Yeah. I come here for skincare stuff. It’s, uh. I don’t like acne. And the weather’s so dry that... I’m getting dry skin these days. Bleeding pores and all that.”

Sabine shook her head. “Hey, sorry we reacted like dickheads. We were just a bit surprised.”

“You’re right, though,” said Hera seriously. “You need a skincare routine especially when the weather’s like this.”

Shara crossed her arms. “You have a skincare routine?”

“Uh...yes.” Cassian prayed that they wouldn’t ask him what exactly his routine was.

To his surprise, Shara then threw her arms up in frustration. “Andor, you are literally _perfect._ Do you know much we appreciate guys whose masculinity isn’t so fragile they can’t even shop for face wash? And you have a whole damn skincare routine! You should force Kes to take it up too. I mean, I love him, but he thinks he’s going to look young forever without taking care of himself.”

His cheeks were flaring, and he definitely couldn’t bring himself to look at Jyn now. He didn’t want to see that she was buying his story the least. Shit, what if she thought he was lying? Why would he lie about being here? Unless he was doing something like...shopping for another girl?

_No, she has no reason to suspect that. I’ve never let on that I like anyone else. Would she care, anyway? It’s not like we’re going out or anything—_

“...and really, how the hell are you still single?” finished Shara.

He couldn’t figure out a response besides smile awkwardly, and couldn’t help but risk a glance at Jyn.

Jyn, who hadn’t said a word so far, and raised an eyebrow laced with skepticism when she caught his gaze.

_Well shit._

 


	9. Interlude: Social Media Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief look into the online lives of our rebellious bunch before we move onto the next chapter of the story.

 

**Leia likes to post pretty pictures of Jyn, although Jyn insists that it ruins the "troll under a bridge" vibe she's going for. She secretly doesn't mind at all and Leia knows this. Something to do with Cassian seeing the pictures and always leaving a like.**

 

**Bodhi is an aspiring model on his Instagram. He has several hundred followers, and Luke is his chirpy, supportive photographer. Seriously, those two plan out shoots at fancy locations and everything. Han is supportive too, in his own bizarre way.**

 

**Cassian hardly ever posts anything. The rare occasions he does, it's either promoting some kind of social campaign or pictures of the sunset and various scenery. His profile picture is always a very professional one where he's in a suit or something. Han keeps telling him that Instagram isn't LinkedIn. He doesn't understand why everyone thinks his social media is lame.**

 

**Luke's feed is the most cheerful place on this side of the planet. Cute animals in hats. Airplane models. Aesthetic origami. Many adorable selfies and pictures with Bodhi. Pictures of Han taken when he's not looking. Pictures of him and Leia as kids. All with ridiculously happy captions.**

 

**Not even Cassian is immune to the combination of Bodhi and Luke making puppy faces. Not that he really has a problem with it. Anything to promote Bodhi's page ~~and it doesn't hurt that Jyn gets to see these pictures, either.~~**

 

**Then there's Ezra. His is a gaming account showing unerring dedication to the Pewdiepie vs. T-Series battle for subscribers. Sabine doesn't know why she even follows him. She tells herself it's so she can keep an eye on him and alert Hera and Kanan if he's being edgy, but really she just misses him and his little eccentricities.**  


**Zeb makes his first appearance in the story, and his username puts all others to shame.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These images were painful to make. Hope you enjoyed them:)
> 
> Next chapter coming very soon!


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